I need to leave to protect DS but don't know how

[PhoenixRising23]

Sorry if jumbled, trying to post quickly before DS wakes.

Have posted about DH under different username previously. Feel too ashamed that I'm still with him to continue posting using that username. Ongoing emotional abuse, silent treatment etc. Naively thought things were better and put my head in the sand, but things worsening again. Am currently 8 months pregnant, need to leave, nowhere to go. Have tried Women's Aid / Refuge numerous times but in the nicest possible way I haven't found them much help, and if anything they've further fuelled my fears that DH will be entitled to shared custody.

My reason for posting is to ask how do people weigh up when considering leaving an abusive DH how to best protect your child/children? He can be horrid to DS (2), shouting and swearing etc, and I always think, if he's like that in front of me, what would he be like when I'm not there? I'm not perfect by any means but the incident that has tipped me over the edge was a few nights ago DS was refusing to go to bed, as toddlers often do, and was reaching up to touch DH's face/beard. DH snapped at him "if you do that again I will pinch - I will grab your arm" (he stopped himself after saying pinch as if he didn't mean to say it but I felt really shocked). Last night when again DS didn't want to go to sleep, DH kept saying to DS angrily "close your eyes" and DS would say "awake", and DH snapped "you're not arguing with me". I struggle to speak up to him because he gets so angry, turns everything on me, gives me silent treatment etc. Everyone thinks he's wonderful, dad of the year. I just want to protect my son, and baby number 2 but if we leave then I'll be opening the door for him to have unsupervised contact so I feel trapped.

What do I do when I go into labour - no childcare options and I don't want to leave him with DH? I don't particularly want DH in hospital with me either, he caused me so much stress the first time round. Basically if I leave then if anything he'll be seeing DS more, and I worry I won't be there to protect him. But equally I want us both out of this living nightmare. Can anyone advise please?

OP your situation sounds not dissimilar to one my sister was in. She finally left her controlling, emotionally abusive husband when her child was 3. For a long time she felt she had no option but to stay with him as he had cut her off from almost all family and friends. One day she decided enough was enough - she later said she doesn't know if she'd have had the strength to leave if she didn't have a child, but she knew she did not want her child growing up thinking this was a normal relationship. She found women's aid and the police helpful (she was encouraged to report him so there is a record of the behaviour). Five years on and she has a lovely new partner and life is so much better. Her ex does see the child (court decided) but it's nowhere near the 50/50 he wanted (or said he wanted - not quite the same thing....). That aspect is still problematic - too much to go in to here - but still a million times better than her situation before.

OP I'd recommend you contact your midwife or health visitor TODAY if possible and tell her everything. Get their professional advice. You CAN have a happy life without living with an abusive partner, don't ever doubt it. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children.

If womens aid no good contact council and ask for emergency accommodation due to DV. Then get help from womens aid to apply for restraining order. Don't stay in this .