How do deal with this player

[screwedup22]

Hi,

I'm wondering the best way to deal with this guy I work with. Basically he's been using me over the past 4/5 months for an ego boost, he's definitely a player and I didn't see it. We used to flirt and we would snapchat all of the time and I knew we would never be an item but I at least felt like we were good friends... Last week he made it obvious he was checking another girl out and even flirted with her in front of me so I was getting the vibes that he wasn't that bothered about messaging me as our snapchat conversations had died right down. We still sent random links on Instagram to each other over the weekend but on Monday I noticed that he has unfriended me on snapchat. He has still sent me random stuff on Instagram but I'm actually mortified he's unfriended me on snapchat without even talking about it. I'll be seeing him tomorrow for the first time since last week and I'm going to just act my usual self but I keep wondering if he's done it to see if I would say anything? And then I wondered what to say if he tells me he's unfriended me, unlikely but I'm so upset with myself that I didn't see this coming. It's just such a sh#tty thing to do when I felt that we were really good friends.

In what way was he using you as a ego boost? From what you say it sounds like a mutual flirtation that just fizzled out, and nothing to be especially aggrieved about? Or did you want to date him?

You said in your other post that you got emotionally invested in it. So not good friends because if it was just goo friends with benefits then he hasn't done anything wrong and if you only saw him as a friend you wouldn't be bothered.

Work on yourself and figure out why you let yourself fall for someone who clearly wasn't offering you anything.

Have you posted about this man before? It is time to face that you flirted, you slept together, he is not feeling it anymore and unfriended you on the main platform you converse on-a very clear sign he does not want to be pals. Just be cordial at work and move on. Don’t feel embarrassed, we have all shagged someone unsuitable at work and it’s gone tits up.

Ask the teacher if you can sit away from him in class.

Are you both 12?

Wait - why would you go running to see someone who you know is only using you? Tell him the date is off, and either go out for a drink with a friend, or have a glass of wine and a long bath, and think about how to repair your self-worth.

Bloke's an arsehole. Have as little to do with him as possible, or he will carry on messing with your feelings. Unfriending etc is something these types often do, to make you feel anxious/insecure and try and make you work to win back his 'affections.'

Agreed - this reads as if one of my Yr 11s had written it.

But on the offchance that you are both older than 16 and he is in fact a work colleague, how about you stop obsessing over him and do some work at work instead?

I would suggest unfriending him on everything else. It'd give you a boost to be more in control of the situation and assert to yourself that you deserve to be treated well.

I think you’ve posted about this already. It’s hard that you’ve developed feelings for him but please don’t say anything to him. From experience, a long chat, message or anything explaining how you felt and how hes hurt you will get you no where. In fact, it will push him away further.
You two flirted, had some friends with benefits thing going on, at some point I imagine he’s suggested that this was just for fun meaning he didn’t want anything serious.
You need to try detach yourself from him. If he says hi, be polite to him but don’t go overboard. Don’t ask him about Snapchat. Stop replying to him on social media. Just try move on as hard as that will be and let him make a fool of himself with someone else.

Why would you want to see someone who flirted with another woman in front of you. Even if he is a fwb that's till really rude. Block him and move on