Am I overreacting?

[Mlz2]

I really need some advice, I’m so confused about my DH’s behaviour and I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m really unhappy but he always just says he hasn’t done anything and it’s just me over reacting and being too sensitive.

I feel like he’s always annoyed at me and invalidates everything I say, like if I say I’ve had a stressful day he’ll just say why and that he doesn’t find things stressful even though life can be stressful. He constantly calls me names/swears at me if I don’t hear what he’s said or asked for. I feel like he controls everything I do and questions everything I buy, I constantly feel like I’m being watched. He doesn’t like me using my phone and makes comments if I do. There are so many examples I could give but I don’t want to waffle on. I just always feel miserable recently but whenever I question him, he just says he’s always nice to me and why am I making up lies. I don’t really know what to do and wondering if it is just all in my head. Does anyone have any advice or experience?

Sounds miserable and he is controlling

He is gaslighting you

My advice would be start figuring out how to end your marriage. Living with a controlling, emotionally abusive, gaslighter will destroy you. You know you are miserable, you know he is making you unhappy, you know he refuses to even accept this, let alone change. So the only real question is how to get out of it.

He sounds vile. It's not you, it's him and PP is spot on, he is gaslighting you.
He's making you question everything.

I'd look into steps to leave because this won't get better.

So he says you are being oversensitive but doesn't like you using your phone.

He says he doesn't get stressed but calls you names and swears if you don't hear him first time.

He says he hasn't done anything wrong but questions what you buy.

You feel miserable all the time.

Is this really the marriage you want to stay in?

He sounds full of himself and no fun.

So you either put up with it or leave.

He is abusive. He is gas lighting. He isn't treating you in a loving, caring or respectful way. Can you seek some therapy to help you unpick your feelings? You would be muich better off away from him. Why would you want to stay with someone who undermines, criticises and controls you? You deserve better.

You are not overreacting at all. You are the victim of an abuser, and you really need to get out of this relationship before it gets any worse than it already is.

Other posters are right, he is gaslighting you.

I don't really know what to do and wondering if it is just all in my head

That's what gaslighting does to you - they turn everything round to make you feel like you're in the wrong, that you are going crazy and making it all up in your head. It is a tactic abusers use very effectively.

I feel trapped like I can’t leave. And keep questioning myself.

What advice would you give to a close female friend who confided in you, and told you that she was being treated like this by her partner?

Have you spoken with Woman's Aid?

Could you do the Freedom Programme with them on line perhaps if not in person?

There are so many examples I could give but I don’t want to waffle on

That’s the damage he’s doing to you. You’re doubting yourself and you sound worn down.

He is abusive. He is controlling you and gaslighting you. He’s taking you apart piece by piece.

Leave.

Do you have kids?