We’ve only been together 5 years but have a little one. He’s a doctor and has worked extremely hard to get a long term post in the top of his field, which he’s been in now for a couple of years. I have a good career too/similar earning but I guess we have working from home available etc so he’s always seen my job as the one that can be portable.
I said when we had our little one that I really wanted to move and go much much closer to my own family (DH’s family live in a very remote area miles from anywhere and there’s not a chance we can locate to them anyway as we both work).
As time has gone on I’ve raised this more and more and it’s come to a head recently. I’ve never felt settled where we are, I’ve no connection to the area and neither does he. I’ve always been waiting to leave in a way.
He did apply for a job a few weeks ago that was close to my family and in an area I love. But he often says the hospital isn’t as good as this one, his opportunities would be limited etc and gives the impression he’s got no intention of actually going to an interview even if he gets it.
I feel in such a different position as I want schools to be in the area I know and love and not just right in the area where DP’s job is… it’s not a nice place and he even admits that himself. He’s just so immersed in work he cares about little else. That said he’s brilliant at home when he is at home…
I feel like I’m almost pushing him into something he doesn’t really want to do but at the same time I have moments where I think FFS just do the same job at a different hospital and get over it! Pay would be the same. He claims it’s not ego but I sense some of it may be as the places I want to be are more remote and smaller… and a better quality of life for him but he doesn’t see it that way.
It’s at the point now where I think about how shit it is here every day. I am so miserable. I miss my real home and where I know and what I love and all the people I had around me. DP has such a limited social life that he doesn’t seem to get this whereas I’m here day in day out working but then mostly alone when he’s at work, with no real feeling of being home.
AIBU to push this?