Guilty or not

[Jenna16]

My boy, aged 11 showed me a search on my husband's phone...

'I ignored a girl I like'.

I confronted my husband about this and he told me some cock and bull story that he wanted to know how people react when ignored. I told him not to humiliate me with such a story. He then said that he was trying to get the attention of a work colleague and she ignored him. It doesn't add up, I know.

I asked him outright if he was having any sort of affair and he has said no. My concern is with my boy who brought this to my attention in the first place. He also says that dad looks at girls.

I believe he is not cheating but how do i react to this? Drop it? Continue backing him into a corner about the story that doesn't add up.

It’s weird in itself that a grown man would google something like that… are you sure it wasn’t the 11 year old mucking about but accidentally uncovered something…..?

The question is worded more like something your son would search , not a grown man. However I'm very concerned that your son is telling you his dad looks at girls . I mean what age girls ? Sounds really off

Your son may well have been aware of what your H had been doing for some time but couldn't speak up and now has a reason too. My son brought a second phone to me with messages on etc after I had found out certain things about his father and the shit hit the fan. He then told me about conversations he had overheard etc

I've asked my son to keep an eye on for me. Think we are going to marriage counselling.

It was definitely him. Late night / irrational search apparently.

Oh gosh. Hope you are okay too - it is heat breaking when it's come from the kids.

Please do NOT ask your son to spy on you DH! That is completely inappropriate, damaging to their relationship, as well as your son's relationship with you- and has the potential to cause lasting emotional/mental damage.

I say this from experience.

Whatever is happening between you and your husband you should not be involving your son.
He is a child.
You are supposedly the adults, so act like it.

Wow you really cannot ask you child to keep an eye on your husband because you have marriage problems. That is pretty much an emotionally abusive situation for your child to be in - he should not be worrying about what is going on with his parents and spying on one for the other. You need to sort your own shit out for fucks sake. You say it's heart breaking when it comes from the kids and then say you've asked your child to keep an eye on him, seriously, seriously wrong.

Jesus please don't involve your son. I thanked mine for speaking up and could see it was a relief to him to unburden what must have weighed so heavily on him. I thanked him, reassured him and said I would deal with it all.

That is a terrible thing for you to have involved your child in.

And the search makes no sense. No adult would search for “I ignored a girl I like” how is that even a search term.

Ok thank you - will not.

Ok thank you - will not.

Ok thank you - will not.

Ok thank you - will not.

To update everyone:
I have spoken to my husband, we are going to marriage counselling. I have not said anything further to my son and husband has apologised to us all. I was wrong to even think about involving my son, bad judgement on my half - thanks to everyone who took time to comment, I was a dick for even thinking of that.