So to start it's probably important to mention that I am working through some PND that has been pretty crippling. So please bear that in mind with your responses.
I have a 2yr4month old and a 5month old and I have just had a horrific weekend where I was alone (DH works away) and all 3 of us had norovirus. I have very little practical help from family. Lots of friends dropped supplies and DH managed to get home on the 2nd day. But it was fairly grim to say the least.
In the absolute peak of all the vomiting the help my mum offered was several messages, articles and links to websites about hand hygiene. She expressed that the children are ill often because I don't wash my hands enough. I do, I'm a nurse, I know about hand hygiene. She will not accept that my daughter being at nursery and the fact we go to play groups, soft play, have school age kids in the house(2 teen step kids), have a fairly active social life means that my daughter getting ill frequently (coughs, colds, a dose of covid, this is the first sick bug shes ever had) is fairly standard. But she has made me doubt myself in the past. This however was the final straw, I really snapped at her. I have no desire to speak with her at the moment.
This is maybe a small thing but the straw that broke the camels back. She is endlessly negative, critical, unkind and hostile. From nasty comments when i got pregnant, comments about my house, about my parenting (says I spoil my child with attention), comments about breastfeeding, you get the picture. I don't think she has ever said a positive thing about me to me, makes fun of my auntie for being 'gushy' when she told me i was a lovely mum. How can I get past any guilt once it arises about limiting my contact with her, because she is really not helping my recovery. I am a good mum.