How to deal with this dating issue with my dignity

[userhjf67]

So had a few dates, going well, communication great, lots of phone call, banter etc.

Saturday we had sex, to be honestly it wasn't great he didn't last even a minute (either time) but no big deal was made of it we had a good time I stayed the night

Since then we're in contact but literally he will send me good morning, I responded snd he will leave the message unread (despite going on line throughout the day for anything up to 8 hours then I will get a reply then a text in evening saying goodnight, all communication and banter has gone, he is either doing the slow fade or keeping me on back burner

How to I deal with my dignity?

Do I literally just stop responding all together or send s text saying something like " your obviously have lots going on so give me a shout if you want to grab s drink at some point?

Yup

Don’t send a jokey message about him being bad in bed. He’ll know you’re upset and trying to get back at him.
Either ignore him or send a firm message along the lines of, If you were just planning to use me for sex you should have been honest about it. Basic decency and respect cost nothing.

How is sending that 'firm' message' any different from a joke one? He'll still read it as OP being upset. Probably even more so. It would be a great boost to his ego.

I guess because the joke message would be her trying to pretend she’s not upset when he knows she is.
The other message is her owning the fact that she’s annoyed because of his selfishness and she’s not afraid to point it out.

But owning her annoyance will just be translated as "she's upset" by Mr Fadeout.
As will any attempt to be cutting/witty.
Which I why I suggested a kind-of halfway house, where the message SEEMS all dignified ... but will make him wonder.
And whatever he wonders, he can do on his own time, because OP will have blocked him & needn't deal with his bullshit:

"It's kind of you to want to stay in touch but let's be honest - we're not really sexually compatible are we? So I'm going to wish you all the best in future, & move on now."

Ticking him off shows emotional investment
Being dismissive & faux-dignified will make him doubt himself, & leave OP with a feeling of having the upper hand.

Well, I don’t know.
A lot if women seem to go around pretending to men that they’re ok with this behaviour. Why pretend? Why not call them out on it?
You don’t have to get overly emotional about it. Just a calm, contemptuous comment on their behaviour before moving swiftly on.

You could well be right @Thereisnolight

I hope OP will cobble together what she feels best reflects her own style & intent from the various suggestions, & cut this man out of her inbox (ooer missus) & life.

Shut him down, he's a waste of space, nobody is ever too busy to text, it only takes seconds. His actions are showing you he can't be bothered.
A real man would not leave you hanging like this.
You deserve alot better, his standards are really poor, so you need to raise yours.

He isn't interested but is probably thinking you are convenient to string along.

Don't bother replying.

To keep your dignity, do not reply to any more of his messages. He sounds awful!

Don't bother replying. He's shit in bed. Don't waste any more time on him.

Life is far too short for shite shags.....
Ignore him. Block him. Tell him to fuck off.
Just don't bother sleeping with him again 🥱

Might he be a bit embarrassed about his “performance” and is trying to figure out if you’re gonna dump him for it (despite him pleasing you in other ways)?
First time (with a new person) nerves is really common, particularly if they do actually like you.

Usually, guys who are in it for themselves don’t care whether their partner comes or not, so long as they get what they want.

Just a thought.

This message. Please, please send this. It's perfect 👏

I would be tempted to say that you enjoyed getting to know him but thinking about it, life's too short for bad sex and you need someone who can last for more than a minute.

” ok” seems a boring low effort response to match his. I’d make little further effort. You doing a slow fade might be best? A bit passive aggressive but heh

I meant “ok” is a GOOD low effort response!

What do you want to achieve? Do you want to see him again because it’s fairly clear you’re are being phased out or kept as a back burner just in case option.
Don't be anyone’s just in case.
The old busy at work excuse? Just a 👍🏻 will suffice. Then block. Men are simple creatures, if they are interested they pursue.

I personally would let it fade out. Yes he may be very busy (we are all busy!!), but if someone truly likes you they will be able to find a moment or 2 in the day to get in touch, to suggest another meet up. You are a grown woman and therefore should be treated as such, and yet he is acting like he is in high school.

Save your time and energy for someone who is truly interested in you and won’t know play these games.