Not sure what to do...

[Holly524]

Hi all, my husband and I have been married for 7 years been together for 17 years. We met when we were 18. We have 2 children together 6 and 7.
I am not sure I have been happy for a little while but could never really understand why.
I think my husband is controlling but I don't think I have ever really seen it until recently. He has major issues with anything to do with my family and basically hates my Mum. Evertime I make arrangements to see them he will give me the silent treatment, sometimes for days on end until I make the first move to try and sort it out. He will regularly undermind me infront of our children, for example when I ask them to help out with things he will go against what I have said. I suggest us going out for the jiggt for a meal but he always has an excuse, no money, doesn't want time away from the kids, yet he always has time, money to go out with his friends.
I have recently been looking into separation and divorce I'm just so worried about everything that comes with that, money/children/houses etc

He sounds like hard work op please leave my ex was mentally controlling silent treatment seperated me from my family and friends only did something with myself and the children if he chose what to do it will wear you down mentally and emotionally for yourself and your children please leave him good luck

Definitely time to go if someone undermines you infront of the kids. Otherwise they'll grow up treating you like a doormat and expecting you to just tolerate it like you do when their dad does it.

You deserve so much better than this. He sounds awful. Take the plunge and leave

What reason does he give for resenting your relationship with your family and in particular your mum?
Seems extreme on his part. Silent treatment, why?

I'm not sure tbh, he used to get along with my family before we had kids we would go on holiday together and out for drinks together. Since us having kids he doesn't really like spending time with them and makes me feel bad for wanting to. He says we have our own family us 4 and I shouldn't want to spend that much time with my family.
I am always nervous at telling him we have been invited to my family gatherings because I know what his reaction will be.

So HE has unilaterally decided what support and relationships YOU are allowed to enjoy.
Yes he’s controlling…and isolating you from a source of support while he’s at it. Does he make out your need to see your family is a slight against him?

What do your family say about it?