Feeling stupid that I fell for it

[screwedup22]

Hi,

Back in January, a very close colleague started to message me on Instagram. We really hit it off, chatting for ages about mutual interests, after a few weeks we started chatting on snapchat. I was all for having a bit of fun and it didn't affect work so all was fine. After a couple of months we hooked up, but then afterwards things died down a bit. Up until this point, he was messaging me all of the time. We still spoke and sexted after this but then I started to realise how much of a player he is. He mentioned in front of me how he loves the thrill of the chase. A guy at work noticed that we were getting close and it scared him off. Then just last week he hardly messaged me at all and I noticed him flirting with another girl at work. Unfortunately, I'm a bit emotionally invested by this point and I've noticed he's removed me from snapchat this weekend. He's still talking to me on other socials, just randomly though.

Obviously, I'm going to try to not let it get to me and I'm just feeling incredibly stupid that I let myself get into this situation. I told him things I wouldn't tell anyone else too. How can move on when I work with him every day. Getting a new job is not an option as I love where I work.

I'm not really looking for an answer, I just needed to talk to someone as I have no one to talk to about it. I feel really pathetic right now. x

You said you were all for having a bit of fun so just think of it as that,
and don't let him back in.

What a knob

do try & avoid, this will hopefully give you space to unattached emotionally

I was all for having a bit of fun and it didn't affect work so all was fine

How can move on when I work with him every day

Bit of a contradiction there. Which is it to be…the ball is in your court.

Remove him from any social media he's still contacting you on. He'll hate that.

Don't show him you're bothered and block him on all platforms before he gets there first

Does anyone else at work know?
If not that will make it much easier

Start seeing other people outside of work and causally mentioned it when he's within earshot

It's shit and I did this far too many times in the decades I've worked where I do but I've learned my lesson now and you'll get over it with time

So you can't even have paragraphs even if you put huge spaces in between now 🤦‍♀️

Well I was but I think I've just realised that I was more invested than I intended to be now that I've seen he's removed me. I'm sure I'll be able to work with him fine, I'm just annoyed that he's done it this way rather than just talking to me about it. I genuinely thought he was my friend.

I'm in a similar situation. Was in December/January for me too.. I keep beating myself up that I'm not over it yet and I think about it all the time still. He's now quite rude to me and doesn't acknowledge me in the office at all.
It's caused me a lot of anxiety to the point where I'm considering leaving with no job to go to.

"I genuinely thought he was my friend."

• I thought mine was too. I don't understand it.

Sorry you're going through this

I'm sorry you've gone through something similar. It's awful isn't it.

He's been messaging me about work today, I feel like he has been overly nice to me. Probably to make sure I'm ok with him I suspect.

I just think it was such a cowardly way to say "I'm done with you now". I would have preferred him to have just been upfront with me but I'm just left here feeling like rubbish while he moves on.