I dumped my boyfriend last week. I didn't want to. I wasn't ready. We've been together 2 years almost. But we were getting absolutely no where in terms of his ex. I started to notice games between them quite early on. They separated 3.5 years ago, yet you'd think by the jealousy and contact it was 6 months ago. Absolutely no boundaries were in place. She could send what she liked. He'd reply. He had no issue with telling me he wouldn't be controlled by anyone. She was his friend and I was never going to change it he said.
The games were absolutely childish. She'd watch his Facebook profile photo updates and write down the women who'd liked it. This was just 8 months ago when we were sat at his and she text him list of women age wanted to know about. Why do you talk to xyz? I don't like women and I really don't trust these women.
I said to him I felt like it was time to cut her off as that was becoming crazy ex. He defended her. She's not crazy!! Your twisting it. A week later he blocked her on Facebook. I thought she was put in her place. But he told me a month later he had agreed they could still talk via wattsapp.
We have over the course of our relationship discussed his feeling and emotions. I even at one point Said perhaps you need to talk to eachother and perhaps you should be back together as you seem unable to let go.
He began hiding their contact. I saw on her twitter page she had reported his written off vehicle that I'd already reported. It was our car. Yet he went to her for extra help.
We were doing great until a month ago. Life must have been going wrong for her because she got back in touch. She once again started whinging to him about her problems and asking him about his life. But no interest in me. She then reported to him.she had seen me driving his car on Facebook. One day we were sat last week eating and she was whinging to him she was so stressed about her job and he was feeling like he needed to cheer her up. When he went to walk the dog I went and looked at the conversation on the laptop. I realised I was completely out the conversation..they were putting loads of kisses on the messages and my boyfriend was expressing emotions about the past. She comforted him in her final message and my boyfriend ignored it.
My boyfriend I realised plays games. He love bombed me. He has done various abusive things to me, including screaming, name calling, lying, triangulation, financial abuse, hes been lazy and using me I fear. But I've started to realise since last night that maybe it's never made any sense to me because she's also abusive.
He's never been able to reach the bar with her. She's always pushing her problems his way. She won't let go. She's jealous. Stalking. Insecure. Acting like she still owns him. She's materialistic and spoilt.
What other reason would two adults have to do this ridiculous game. They don't seem to ever get back together just stop and start this game to ruin eachothers new attempts and moving on from the past...