Is this me forever?

[EllisActon]

I've had a brain bleed which added to my blood cancer and unrelated kidney cancer and made me feel like shi. This was 6 months ago and though my mind can see it..I am unable to do anything I used to find fun...I cannot do any of the crafts I loved or read or walk even, without feeling someone is spinning me round..I'd this really me forever????? It took me by the wst more attempts than I can count to do this short messages so messaging my old friends and adult kids is just more frustration. I an eaten up by the why me again feeling.....please help me.

That sounds really hard OP. What does your consultant say?

I am sorry you are in this situation; and do hope it changes for you.
If you are an avid reader, have you thought about audio books, until you are to read again?

Oh. My. Goodness. That’s beyond awful Ellisacton. I can offer a handhold in a way - I had cancer and Dh had an aneurysm and I don’t think anyone has any idea unless you have been through it. If it helps I had the mil telling me, while I was having chemo, that dil had it really tough, she couldn’t get a childminder. Humpf! I think it might be a normal reaction? It was for me, and Dh. The world just lost colour and all I could think about was all the illness and suffering in a grey bleak world. Like me, you WILL come out of it. Slowly little things will spark joy, especially if you train yourself to look for them - and, corny though it sounds , write 3 things you are grateful for every night when you are snuggled up. I found as well, id write 3 things id done well - id got the kids frozen pizza in the oven yay! - rather than, I’m so crap I didn’t cook etc etc. it sounds daft, but it really helped. Also take a minute multiple time through the day to breathe very slowly, while the kettles boils for example. You may be too stressed to do any mindful tales ( which are also useful) I know I can’t stand them! But this has the effect of convincing your body that you are calm and it stops producing stress hormones.
hope this helps a bit anyway. Find counselling if you can, I’m sure you know Mc millans and maggies. Also I found people very helpful and even offered me some free sessions when I explained why I needed help and why I couldn’t afford it at that time.
massive, massive hugs. You are NOT alone xxxxxxxx