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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help me with words of encouragement

5 replies

Helpmeleaveplease · 16/05/2022 14:50

Me and my partner have been together half of our lives, we have kids etc, I think I may have fallen out of love with him. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's nice to me, dont get me wrong he has been abit of a shit in the past (no cheating) but has turned it around the past couple of years so I feel really bad saying I dont think I love him, he works away and I just feel so at ease when hes not there and a miserable sod when hes home.
Because we have been together for so long i think its a habit i need to break, like the thought of him not being there makes me feel sick because for some many years he has been in my life.

Help me with words of wisdom, how do I get passed this feeling and just do what I know I need to do?

P.s I have name changed

OP posts:
Marineboy67 · 16/05/2022 15:31

This is often what happens and although sad is far from unique. That said It's a new set emotions for us to deal with. You either grow together or you grow apart in long relationships. Once you've accepted this it's what you wish to do moving forward. Separation is painful but liberating and new adventures in life to look forwards to.

KangarooKenny · 16/05/2022 15:33

You need to free the both of you.

Original poster
Helpmeleaveplease · 17/05/2022 22:46

An arguement we've had, a few weeks ago i told him i wasnt in the mood for sex, hes been funny with me ever since, when i have tried to intiate it he's said no, ive just found he said no not because he didnt want too but because he wanted me to know how it felt......

Is that normal behaviour? I dont think it is? Weve been together so long the lines are blurred. I think im well within my rights to turn down sex if im tired no?

OP posts:
Original poster
Helpmeleaveplease · 17/05/2022 22:49

This is part of the reason i dont think i love him, when it comes to sex its his way or arguements!

He often comes home and will say things like 'we're having sex tonight because I'M in the mood' puts me right off, what about if im not in the mood? 🤔

OP posts:
AirGirl · 17/05/2022 23:12

Helpmeleaveplease · 16/05/2022 14:50

Me and my partner have been together half of our lives, we have kids etc, I think I may have fallen out of love with him. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's nice to me, dont get me wrong he has been abit of a shit in the past (no cheating) but has turned it around the past couple of years so I feel really bad saying I dont think I love him, he works away and I just feel so at ease when hes not there and a miserable sod when hes home.
Because we have been together for so long i think its a habit i need to break, like the thought of him not being there makes me feel sick because for some many years he has been in my life.

Help me with words of wisdom, how do I get passed this feeling and just do what I know I need to do?

P.s I have name changed

I am only going to say a few words here as i don't know you or the situation.... Don't leave him. Talk to him. Work on it. The grass is not greener and there is nothing better out there than your man with whom you have a life and kids. Good luck Xx

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