Scared of losing sibling now parents gone

[MayDay2022]

(NC for this as potentially outing)

I have 2 brothers. Get on well with both but am much closer to DB2, who is quite a bit younger than me. We're now in our 40s/50s. For our whole adult lives, we have had to do a lot for our parents, both of whom had major health issues. For various valid reasons, DB1 has not been able to be so involved, so DB2 and I have done most of the caring. It wasn't fun, by any means - it was a lot of hard work and often maddening/depressing - but we managed it between us and worked really well together.

Our parents have now died. Obviously I am mourning them, but I am also terrified about losing the closeness to DB2. Our childhood was quite difficult because my parents were already unwell, so our relationship was very important to me and still is. (I am happily married, but that's a different type of relationship, obviously). Looking after our parents meant that we spent a lot of time together, but the reason to do that is now gone. DB is younger than me and probably wants to make up for lost time, in terms of enjoying himself. I want this for him too. I don't want to be a drag on him, or needy - he has had enough of that. But I am so scared of losing him.

Am I being ridiculous? Have other people been in the same situation? How did it pan out? TIA

I think you need to tell him.

You could compare yourselves to the classic Empty Nest Syndrome couple - what on earth will we talk about now? ha ha

Stress that you would like to keep seeing him, it's not that you feel lonely.

Is there something you both like to do that you could make the focus of regular meetings? Parkrun followed by a cafe fryup, amateur dramatics performance and tearing it apart in the pub, a band that crosses over 80s and 90s music

Or - just a thought that has occurred to me - would you be interested in genealogy? Something you could investigate together, meandering round churchyards and record offices and obscure Midlands villages (this is highly dependent on family circumstances, obvs).

Thanks, @merryhouse - those are really nice ideas. I think you're right that it would help to find something we can do together, going forward. And, yes, empty nesters is a good analogy - caring for our parents had absorbed so much time and effort that their deaths have left a huge hole even though, if I am honest, it is a relief in some ways too. You are right that DB and I need to find a new basis for our relationship.