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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I think I was abused by my doctor

53 replies

Mumthatlovesbooks · 15/05/2022 13:47

So I was reading another thread and thought I would start my own …. Not sure why this is playing on my mind these days but I feel I just need to say it or try and find closure …..

so back in 2002 I was 18 or 19 and pregnant with my first child which I went to the doctor when I was about 5 or 6 weeks gone been with this doctor years and he gave me a internal and check my breast to see if I was pregnant back then I thought it was weird but never been in this situation before … so I was like okay …. And then went on and to see him again about something else and he did another internal while I was there to check how the pregnancy was going ….. so I was like okay … I then ended up moving house and moved doctors and also ended up having a fall in work which meant I lost the baby …. And never thought anymore of it … about 6 months later me and my husband to be went on and got pregnant again and all was well with this but my new doctors never did anything like before and I don’t know why I was just embarrassed when I asked about a internal and they weee like no we don’t need to do that we and proceeded to explain what happens over the next few months …. Anyway many years later it’s just bothers me I never did anything …. And I know he will be long gone and dead but I am not back at a doctor practice which used to be the same doctors j went to years ago but in a new location and now that memory has resurfaced…

aslp so sorry for lack of grammar I just needed to get it off my chest …. And ask for any advice on what you would do now I am in the uk and not sure if there is anything I should do

OP posts:
KloppsTeeth · 15/05/2022 16:14

The same happened to me. First pregnancy when I was 18, back in 1996. I’d done a test a home which was positive, went to see my GP and he also did an internal exam and checked my breasts. Doctor was about 30ish at the time, certainly not old. Didn’t know at the time, never saw him again by chance as it was a large surgery. Second pregnancy at 30 and there was nothing like that, and it played on my mind. Times change, but I think 1996 wasn’t necessary to have checks like that.

Spino · 15/05/2022 16:26

This happened to me as well with my first pregnancy at 21. The doctor did an internal examination to check the dates. I was alone in the room with him and didn't ask for a chaperone (I didn't know I could ask for one) and he didn't ask whether I wanted one. I felt weird at the time about it but assumed this is what happened when you got pregnant. However, my two subsequent pregnancies didn't involve any internals to date the pregnancy so...

SunnyShiner · 15/05/2022 16:32

Same happened to me. It was pretty standard in the 90s. All my friends had the same.

lonelygirl15 · 15/05/2022 16:32

ugh funny how only since this area of medicine stopped being dominated by male doctors it’s been phased out doing constant breast and vaginal exam for any reason they can think of.

Theheartandtheshape · 15/05/2022 17:07

So either there's an epidemic of sexually abusive doctors or this was standard practice.

AnuSTart · 15/05/2022 17:14

I was assaulted by my doctor when I was 16 in 1990. I went to get my earache checked. He asked if I was sexually active. Sadly I was and he gave me an internal exam and a breast exam.
I called the reception a few weeks later for the result of the smear test and she said there was no record of it.
It upsets me even now.
Dr D is still practising. He makes me feel sick.

HannahPurna · 15/05/2022 17:24

Breast and internal examination was always part of a standard initial booking examination by either midwives/doctors in early pregnancy when I did my midwifery training in the early 70s. It was very much part of what we were taught and was in all the textbooks of the time.

This however does not mean the OP is wrong to be concerned about her own experience.

HandshakesInTheHamptons · 15/05/2022 17:40

OP IS TALKING ABOUT THE YEAR 2002.

Sorry for what happened to you OP. I was pregnant in 2003, I asked my GP friend when I was pregnant, if there would be any sort of examination like this before I booked to see my own GP and she confirmed there wouldn’t be. There wasn’t.

PrincessRamone · 15/05/2022 17:46

HandshakesInTheHamptons · 15/05/2022 17:40

OP IS TALKING ABOUT THE YEAR 2002.

Sorry for what happened to you OP. I was pregnant in 2003, I asked my GP friend when I was pregnant, if there would be any sort of examination like this before I booked to see my own GP and she confirmed there wouldn’t be. There wasn’t.

Yes, but people who trained in the 70s would still be practicing medicine 15-20 years later. It takes a while for practices to change unless there is a mandate to change them.

Hallyup89 · 15/05/2022 17:50

I was pregnant in early 2003. My GP did nothing of the sort. This was not common practise and should never have happened to you. I'm so sorry you were taken advantage of.

HannahPurna · 15/05/2022 17:51

HandshakesInTheHamptons · 15/05/2022 17:40

OP IS TALKING ABOUT THE YEAR 2002.

Sorry for what happened to you OP. I was pregnant in 2003, I asked my GP friend when I was pregnant, if there would be any sort of examination like this before I booked to see my own GP and she confirmed there wouldn’t be. There wasn’t.

I’m aware of that.

I guess I wasn’t clear in that what I meant was that many people who trained 20 or so years previously (particularly older GPs) continued to practise in the way in which they were taught (still not an excuse though).

Catshaveiteasy · 15/05/2022 17:57

Sorry to hear that. I doubt there's any action you could take now unless you recall the doctor's name but therapy might be helpful if it is still preying on your mind?

Funnily enough, I was telling someone just last week that I think I was abused by a doctor once. It was long before you were born. I had to have a medical examination for my job. The doctor was male and embarrassed me by checking my breasts.

Some years later I had another work medical and no such check took place, which is when I realised what had probably happened. It doesn't haunt me though.

AnnieSnap · 15/05/2022 18:00

Another poster said that she thought internal examination in pregnancy might have been common in the 80s and 90s. I had my children in 1976, 1980 & 1982. Internal examinations were only carried out when a woman was in labour to check dilation of the cervix. A breast examination was also completely unnecessary. You were abused. I’d say that if you feel you can cope with it, report the doctor. Even if you can’t recall his name, it will be in your old notes (though I doubt the details of his ‘examinations’ will be). Although it will be your word against his, there may have been reports from other women about him. If so, it will be more than that.

HandshakesInTheHamptons · 15/05/2022 18:06

PrincessRamone · 15/05/2022 17:46

Yes, but people who trained in the 70s would still be practicing medicine 15-20 years later. It takes a while for practices to change unless there is a mandate to change them.

Show quote history

The doctor I saw was close to retirement age. Doctors have to keep up to date with new practices. It’s strange how appointments are rushed but these male doctors have all the time in the world to conduct out of date vaginal and breast examinations because it’s what they were taught. Anyone defending this is questionable.

I hope you’re ok OP. Please ignore the apologists and minimisers on this thread. My doctor friend would encourage you to report this incident.

Branleuse · 15/05/2022 18:11

It might have been more the norm in the past because it was easier to get away with abuse. Not because it was clinically necessary

Greyarea12 · 15/05/2022 18:31

I'm sorry this happened to you. I understand how it plays on your mind. I had something happen when I was in labour in 2012 only it was a female and when she gave me an internal she whispered in my ear .. how does that feel? There was something so strange about it and I often think of it. The only suggestion I have for you would be to talk it out with a therapist. Hope you are ok.

userxx · 15/05/2022 18:41

I can remember having an eye test back when I was 17 or 18, he was leaning over the chair I was sat in with his face so close to mine, heavy breathing and rubbing his dick against my legs. I was absolutely terrified knowing this wasn't right but not doing anything to stop it. So wished I'd kicked him in the bollocks.

Unsure33 · 15/05/2022 18:46

miltonj · 15/05/2022 15:39

Don't know why people are arguing about what was normal in the 70s/80s... the OP is talking about 2002!!!

I'm sorry OP, it is definitely not normal and i hope you can access counselling.

That is why posters asked if it was an older doctor. That’s not an excuse and it may not be the answer but perhaps some dinasour had not changed his method of examinations.

OP have you checked ot the doctors name to see if there have been any other complaints?

diamondpony80 · 15/05/2022 18:54

This definitely isn't normal. I was pregnant with my first in 2003 and when I went to the doctor to confirm, he just asked if I'd taken a pregnancy test. He didn't do a thing, just said pregnancy tests are accurate enough and no other tests needed to be done.

Darhon · 15/05/2022 18:58

I was pregnant in my late 20s in 2002, this didn’t happen and actually the trend was for as
few internals as possible and to pass early pregnancy care to the midwife team as soon as possible.

MissMaple82 · 15/05/2022 19:06

Sapphirensteel · 15/05/2022 14:40

Before home pregnancy tests this was how GPs confirmed a pregnancy but I doubt any have done that since the late 80s(?)
You can report historic abuse. It doesn’t matter how long ago it happened and you can report to police, the NSPCC or the General Medical Council.

I’m sorry this happened to you.

I reported historic abuse to the general medical Council and they said they couldn't do anything

Sniffypete · 15/05/2022 19:20

I had an internal exam done by a doctor at A&E 11 years ago. They couldn't scan me until the following day, so internal it was.
There was however a male and female doctor present and I asked for the female to do it. They also asked if I wanted a nurse with me.

SummerWillow · 15/05/2022 19:21

Same here in about 2000. GP did breast exam when there was zero clinical need for one. He also was very keen to fit an IUD rather than anyone else in the practice 🧐. I went to the local hospital clinic instead. Definitely suspect.

SummerWillow · 15/05/2022 19:22

This was at an appointment when I wasn't pregnant.

Blue4YOU · 15/05/2022 19:33

I always end up commenting on posts about doctors being abusive.
I reported one to the GMC. They investigated and decided I wasn’t truthful. Asked for a review they decided I did hold a genuine belief that I was sexually assaulted but that “that doesn’t mean it did”.
Honestly wish I hadn’t bothered.
The police on the other hand were great.
The hospital that STILL employs and promoted him afterwards decided I was lying but refused to say why. C@nts the lot of them!
Sorry I can’t answer your OP but I totally get why it haunts you. It’s almost destroyed me.