5 weeks ago today I was thrown out of my exes house at 4am. This was at least the 10th time in 8 months I'd been sent home like a naughty child. I'd been awake an hour troubled because the weekend before I'd found out him and the ex were once again exchanging messages. This ex was still able to get his attention after 3 years. He couldn't stop..she still thinks she owns him. She doesn't want him. But she sees me as irrelevant..she had him 10 years and I was only an 18 month relationship. In the time we were together she mocked me. Told my now ex she watched my Facebook profile. She sent him comments about what she had seen..she was always looking for clues. He felt loyal to her and fiercely defended his reasons. But he was always expressing how he didn't like her behaviour and seemed bitter and jealous alot.
He was allowing this. Possibly emotionally still attached to her. He couldn't move on. He never let's go of the past or does things normally. He just sees her as this sister now. But he knew it was spoiling us and I wasn't worth him stopping contact massively. He described it as he was forever waiting for me to kick off again..he said he felt awkward with me and didn't want a relationship where he felt controlled. So I said I'll tell you what. I'm done. I've had enough.
I ended it. I ended it because on top of this I never felt he was commited. He wouldn't take single off his Facebook. He would write paragraphs about how much better he was doing since quitting drink. Not once did my name get a mention. He was borrowing my money and paying me back less. He was not trying at all. He had photos of his ex on Facebook but never one of me. We never went out because of his back pain and he was broke the whole relationship. My spare money paid for his phone bill or food and fags.
He had a broken back operation through out our time together and it stopped sex in the last 6 months. It stopped affection. But he still was looking at women in the street. Still messaging the ex (not sexually) suspected in the end he was messaging another woman too as he was online alot!! Particularly through the night. But the minute I went home he'd be active. He also left me blocked on wattsapp after a row.
He went through stages of being really angry and against phones. He dug at Me. Dug at his exes old behaviours. Then 2 months later he's always glued to it himself. He has history of using tinder. He possibly has snap chat. But he claims to have now removed these apps.
Ge smokes 3-4 pouches of tobacco a week and around £40 for weed when he can afford it.
3 occasions happened whilst we were together..
My birthday
Christmas
Valentines.
He got me absolutely nothing. Not even a card. He blamed this on being skint.
He had a dodgy 18 year old friend who called in..my ex is late 40s. He has nothing to show for his life in terms of savings, car, property, even furniture etc. He has nothing.
I fell for it because he has nice qualities. He played the role of a vulnerable victim just trying to get sorted really well. But...I ofcourse see now that there was alot wrong.
He was verbally abusive too. He had no issue calling me a C* and screaming at me to get out. He was vile at times. Kicked me out his house. Spoke to me terrible. Then blame it on my insecurities and me questioning him.
I just couldn't understand the relationship. It felt like we were together but we weren't. It felt like his actions were never matching his words.
He slowly seemed to chop and change his stories. One minute he doesn't like something then he does. Or he'd suggest things for me to do or wear and I'd be confused as to the why. It all seemed odd.
Has anyone experienced this?