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Original poster

Claires Law Disclosure

45 replies

MalbecandToast · 14/05/2022 05:56

My friend "C" and I are very concerned about our good friend "D" and her new relationship. To cut a long story short we did a Claires Law application a fee weeks ago and yesterday "C" got an email asking if she knew of any time "D" might be on her own away from him as they have information to share with her 😔 has anyone else done one for their friend and felt so glad they did it because you want them to be safe, but still feel guilty because it's behind their back?! We begged her for months to do one but she refused, and after she became more and more unhappy we just went ahead and did it.

OP posts:
Bogeyes · 14/05/2022 06:02

You may tell her what you have found but she may feel that she knows how to handle him or even believe that his exes didn't understand him while she does. Anyway she will believe that he didn't really love them like he loves her. You may lose a friend as she may shoot the messenger of bad news but this is better than watching her being abused. Can you send her an anonymous note? Good luck.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/05/2022 06:07

No Claire's Law but I did have a friend for whom we left the door open for a long time. She eventually left him and slept on our sofa for a while. We knew he was scum but it took a long time.

I'm surprised you could do an application. I thought you had to be the one in the relationship.

userxx · 14/05/2022 06:07

I didn't realise someone else could request it other than the partner. What a horrible situation, the best outcome is that your friend takes on board the info and ends the relationship, the worst outcome is that you push her further to him and she cuts you out. Why did she not want to get the information herself ? Why won't she end the relationship if she's unhappy? I've been where you are, I know how terrifying and frustrating it is.

Purplepeg · 14/05/2022 06:08

Yes we did it with a friend after persuading her to apply and the police literally came and arrested him the next day because in their view she was in danger. He was a horrible narcissist and ended up going to prison for his nasty behaviour thank god and my friend was quite thankful for Claire’s Law as she would never have got herself out of that relationship.

userxx · 14/05/2022 06:10

Just to add, my friend is still with the person and I had to learn to take a massive step back. Until someone is ready to end things then there's little you can do.

Original poster
MalbecandToast · 14/05/2022 06:14

Yes you can do it for yourself or for someone else you are worried about if you have their address details etc. I am fully prepared for her to be angry with us, she already is for talking to her about him, but I couldn't live with myself if he killed her and we hadn't at least tried 😢

OP posts:
Original poster
MalbecandToast · 14/05/2022 06:16

But to clarify, they don't give the reporter the information, they only disclose to the person you applied on behalf of. Because he is now living with her, the police wanted us to tell them a time where she might be on her own so they can see her away from him for her safety.

OP posts:
userxx · 14/05/2022 06:42

It's so hard to stand back and watch. What's her previous dating history ?

PumpkinsandKittens · 14/05/2022 11:46

I didn’t realise you could do it for someone else either, so they inform the person that you are doing it/going to do it? Anyway as much as I understand why you did it you have to leave her to make her own mistake she is an adult

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 14/05/2022 11:49

userxx · 14/05/2022 06:07

I didn't realise someone else could request it other than the partner. What a horrible situation, the best outcome is that your friend takes on board the info and ends the relationship, the worst outcome is that you push her further to him and she cuts you out. Why did she not want to get the information herself ? Why won't she end the relationship if she's unhappy? I've been where you are, I know how terrifying and frustrating it is.

The applicant won't get the information but they can request the disclosure

oviraptor21 · 14/05/2022 11:50

Can you can give the police the information they want and ask that they don't disclose who the informant was?

otherbookmarks · 14/05/2022 12:19

Someone requested a Claire's law intervention on behalf of my daughter. She has no idea who made the request, that information isn't disclosed.

Original poster
MalbecandToast · 14/05/2022 12:47

So the process is- if you are concerned about someone you give their details, along with the perpetrators details and their address information along with your concerns. You then get an email to say they will review it. If they feel there is something it's in the interests of safety for the person to know, they go to them and make the disclosure but they do not reveal where this information came from. The police do not give the person who reported any information about the disclosure if they are a third party.

I totally get that she is an adult, and she doesn't have to act on the information the police give her but at least she will have it. Right now she is living with a man she has known 6 months who has a history of DV - he has told her he has 1 ex who "exaggerates and causes trouble" - I think its important she hears the full truth from someone who is not him.

OP posts:
Schmz · 14/05/2022 13:09

Well they’ve got info to share with her,
whether she wants to hear it or not and how she reacts to this is unknown but well
done - you are a good friend

Original poster
MalbecandToast · 14/05/2022 13:44

@Schmz thank you, I know its 100% the right thing to do. I just hope she forgives us eventually 😔

OP posts:
SafeguardingSocialWorker · 14/05/2022 13:52

In my experience the police are pretty relentless once they have decided to make the disclosure.

Prepare for her hearing from them sooner rather than later and any fall out you are anticipating from that.

MalbecandToast · 14/05/2022 13:57

This reply has been deleted

We've deleted this as we were concerned it might contain information that could be identifying.

Georgeskitchen · 14/05/2022 14:10

I think that if the police themselves actually come to speak to her, she really ought to listen.

Overthewine · 14/05/2022 14:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

twoandcooplease · 14/05/2022 14:37

I think you're a great friend. She is lucky to have you and your other friend

CornishTiger · 14/05/2022 15:02

proceduresonline.com/trixcms2/media/9596/7-minute-guide-clares-law.pdf

this info graph is very useful.

CornishTiger · 14/05/2022 15:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Will be dealt with sensitively. In our region the Clare’s laws disclosures are dealt with by specialist domestic abuse unit. Not general response etc

redheadmary · 14/05/2022 15:16

F

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 14/05/2022 15:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Its always worth a try but I would hope that if a serving officer had anything recorded officially that was of concern enough to make a Claire's law disclosure about to someone then they wouldn't be a serving officer any more.

That's not to say your concerns have no merit.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 14/05/2022 15:24

I didn't realise you could request it on someone's behalf either OP so thank you for that. Hope I never need to but it's good to know.

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