Don't beat yourself up. About 10 days ago when my ex didn't send my money over and ignored me when I said about him fetching his things, I ended up sending a heartfelt email. Told him that I just wanted to get things sorted for good so we could both get on with our lives. It seems so strange as my ex has his important paperwork at my house which includes his birth certificate and passport. He has his jewellery here and photos of his mum who has passed away. It originally came to stay at mine when he was worried rhe bailiffs would come from the council. But mostly its not stuff they'd take. So it's remained baffling to me. He will be moving soon. He's awaiting a coucil property.
People have told me to box it up and dump in back at his. But it's 3 miles away and I don't drive and to be honest I can't even face going to his street. It would break me I think. Its been over a month now since I last saw him and the bonds broken.
He still watches my prime account. He has left me blocked everywhere though. I see the games.
What's your ex doing in terms of contact? What made you split? Can I ask what your pattern is like? My ex only fell out with Me if I questioned stuff. But he was very hot znd cold too. Its like we were together but it didn't feel like we really was. Its hard to explain.
How are you feeling today? You contacted him because you have alot of questions. I have questions too.
Did you ever love me?
Was you using me for money?
Was you never over your ex and using me to fill a void and wind her up.
Why didn't you try and sort it?
My birthday in April 2021 he had fallen out with me at that point. He was screwing someone else from tinder. I spent my whole birthday hoping he'd message. Then this year 3 days before my birthday I find out he's messaging his ex emotional stuff. On my actual birthday he messaged to moan and complain his electric had gone off and he had no fags. I was so relieved he was talking I went rushing down in a taxi and bought him everything he needed. He said to me I haven't got you a card or present sweetheart but I will! He got paid 2 days later and we had a Chinese but then 2 days after that we split as I tried to tell him I didn't feel enough since seeing him and his ex talking.
I mean can you imagine not getting the person who's financially helped you and fed you for 8 months a birthday card? If you was so skint you couldn't afford a gift. You'd still get a £1 card and write down something meaningful. But nope. I was in the dog house so he was not at all jnterested.
He owed me 100s and 100s when we split. The day we did split he gave me an envelope with his money in he'd earned that week. He said there's £360 in there take all of it as I know you will help me. We ended up rowing and I called to him I'm taking that money because I need it. I left him £90 and took the rest. He owed me alot more. I was struggling at that point. He told people I stole that money without asking.
Your mind will be going mad at the moment. I know you have a therapist already but what's helped me is mu therapist helped me do a mind map of facts and it took all emotion out. With that I learned
*he was bad with money and irresponsible.
*he was selfish and put Himself first.
*he was rude, didn't listen to others.
*he was dishonest
*he kept women in the equation.
*got others to sort his problems.
It also helps me to write emails and save them. Not to ever send. But just to journal my feelings.
Sorry this is long.