Been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years. He suffers from low self esteem and depression, although doesn’t effect the relationship too much. He treats me pretty nicely. From the outset he always said he ‘wasn’t good enough for me’, ‘ I’ll leave him at some point’ ….I just put it down to low self esteem and thought it was quite sweet after dating rubbish guys with big egos….
anyway fast forward….the relationship has never progressed in a natural way. He has always struggled with this. I still haven’t met any of his family after nearly 2 years. After 8 months i met his kids, they like me and get on with my kids. When he has his kids though he never involves me in his family plans and says it’s ‘his weekend and he has his responsibilities’ I find it hurtful after this length of time we’re not joining families and spending time together. He’s full of excuses. He took a job to be closer to me to spend more time together but he still makes reasons up why he can’t see me.
Ive cried saying I don’t think he’s into me and I’m confused and he says he loves me…but says he has a ‘black hole in his head and no one can get in’ . He says he does want to be with me but he’s a broken man. After 2 years I want to talk about moving in together but he’s very vague about it, says he wants that, but spends a lot of time on his own without me….so don’t know why he says one thing and does another. I would support him 100% with his mental health, we all have our struggles, but he never talks to me about it, so I feel he shuts me out. I do know men struggle to be open and emotionally connected in that respect. I have also offered to go to therapy with him.
So am I being used? Should I wait for him to be ready? Will he ever settle down with me? Don’t really want to wait for years, I’m 39 and don’t want to waste time on a relationship going nowhere, I do love him, although it is starting to get me down now. Sorry for the long post.