Hi all,
Dh and I seperated mid last year as I couldn't take his verbal abuse and attitude toward me anymore after a particularly nasty outburst.
He moved out and I remained home with dc, both with asd.
As he wasn't staying anywhere suitable he spent a lot of time with us and I was hopeful that we would work things out, but he just kept letting me and dc down and couldn't stop himself carrying on saying nasty things about me.
Anyway, around 8 weeks ago he got his own place and around 6 weeks ago he agreed to the dc staying over 1 night per week and a couple of weeks later added in another night. Same nights each week.
I had messaged him last week letting him know that the boys have asked a few questions and are obviously now having to adapt to seperate homes and a new routine and asked he be sensitive to that and to make sure he was mindful of not saying anything negative about the situation (or me).
Yesterday afternoon he asked if the boys could stay over that night plus the usual tomorrow.
I said I didn't think now was the right time to change things at the last minute as the dc are very routine driven, which he knows.
As a result he spent all day telling me how unreasonable I am, that I am controlling and abusive, the dc don't want to live with me, he will tell them I kept them away from him etc.
I explained that I had no issue in him seeing them, that I have always supported it (and 9/10 arranged it). He was taking them to an activity last night so I suggested that if he wanted to see them more he could collect early and take them out before or do something with them after, but at this moment in time, I didn't think an extra unexpected sleepover was a good idea. They see sleeping their tomorrow and will be with him until late Saturday afternoon.
As punishment, he has now told me that I can't attend the dcs event on Saturday, which I had previously asked if I could and he had said yes.
We've had a difficult time of getting on lately, due to some pretty cruel behaviour on his part, so I have distanced myself from him and I think this is making him angry.
He moves quickly between wanting to work on our relationship and appologies, to the usual name calling and threats in no time at all.
I am so tired of it all. I just don't know what to do for the best anymore.
Any advice welcome. Sorry it's so long!