Dating an ex’s friend

[Daisydukes1]

Just wondering what the general opinions are on dating a friend of a long term ex-boyfriend?

To give context, my ex and I split up 3 years ago after a 6 year relationship in our early 20s and we’re friendly, although don’t keep in touch. He’s since married and his new partner despises me (he told me this although I’ve never spoken to her). I’ve recently started dating one of his friends and it’s starting to get more serious. There are a few social events coming up that my ex-boyfriend and his wife will be at. I have no issue with this and there is no feelings on my part whatsoever other than wishing them both happiness. I had thought of reaching out to his wife via social media just to exchange a friendly message and let her know I was looking forward to meeting her but I don’t know if this would be strange?

Don’t contact your ex’s wife. That is strange sorry.

There would be no harm in exchanging a few friendly words when you do meet her in person. But don’t go out of your way to do so.

If you and your new guy are both happy, then there’s nothing wrong in dating. It’s evident you and your ex have both moves on amicably.

If you knew him quite well when you were with your previous partner, some people may wonder “I bet @Daisydukes1 always fancied him” so I’d be prepared for questions from any of your mutual
friends.

I wouldn’t date an exes friend but everyone is different.

don’t message his wife 😬 cringing at that sorry

I would leave the message. The friend should tell your ex that you two are dating. If there’s an issue then it’s on their part and not yours.
Id leave the wife to it, once you’re out together, you can be polite and friendly and maybe one day a friendship will form but I’d leave it to happen naturally.

I’ve dated an exes friend. It was my ex that introduced us!

OP, I wouldn’t message your exes wife. You only have his word for it that she despises you and it could blow up from a nothing into a massive, awkward something.

I can understand keeping a low profile with dating a friend of your ex, especially in the early stages but, if you’re getting more serious now then maybe your fella should mention it to your ex before you both rock up at a function together.
It really is a conversation for them 2 to be having, not you and a woman you’ve never met.

Contacting your ex's wife is literally one of the stupidest things you could possibly do. Come on now. Be sensible.

Thanks ladies for the advice!

I will definitely not send her a message haha :)