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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

leaving abuse

5 replies

AngelinaB087 · 12/05/2022 16:37

sunk in that I didnt need to bombard on other peoples threads and longer, I can make my own. I dont want to write about my own situation other than I am experiencing abuse. Its not physical, its all domestic. there are lists online that tell me what counts as abuse just to be sure and it has really totted up. I want to leave and start a life for myself and forget about the past. Unfortunately Ive got no family and havent been able to make friends, and have had none since beforehand so when I leave Ill feel so lonely as ill have no one and not know who i can trust. Im truly afraid of what is likely to happen to me if i leave. im very well provided for in the position that i am in, and with all the news about under funding, the cost of living crisis and people ending up homeless and vulnerable and dead, i dont want to trade in what I have and it is a big risk that I would be taking. Im err-ing on the side of not doing it. ive applied to go on the housing register which is taking a while so i also contacted a womens aid far away from where I live and ive enquired about where I can stay, awaiting response. I want to know what I can expect from a womens shelter, so if youve stayed there before feel free to write about your own experiences good and bad

OP posts:
Zemw · 12/05/2022 16:41

I have no advice on WA OP, just wanted to remind you that being lonely alone is better than being abused - and being lonely.

Please leave him.

AngelinaB087 · 12/05/2022 17:06

its not just being lonely and being alone though. its having no one you can trust to support you and look out for you. As it stands Id rather have food in my stomach and be warm and comfortable in a house than out on the streets, vulnerable and stressed.

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 12/05/2022 17:13

So you’ve made up your mind.
And believe me, I completely understand your position and point of view.
But it sounds like you’re not ready to take that vital step yet. You’re on your way though. You’ll find your moment and when you do, you’ll walk. Keep gathering your strength. It does take time.
Is therapy an option? Are you ready for that?

unsync · 12/05/2022 17:18

I was in a long term psychologically and financially abusive marriage. Finally divorced this year, to outsiders, I have nothing, but I haven't been this happy for years. Every day I wake up smiling. Seek legal advice and leave. A lot of the anxiety you feel now will be a result of the abuse and will dissipate when you take control back and are free to live your life the way you choose.

Watchkeys · 12/05/2022 17:22

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