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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

supporting kids through break-up

2 replies

dazedandconfused · 11/01/2008 15:03

I split from exH 3 months ago. We have tried to explain simply to DS (aged 4) and DD (nearly 3) what's happening in practical terms but they are very young.

DS talked to me about it properly for the first time this morning and it made me feel so sad and guilty.

He said how much he missed daddy living with us and how he liked it when we were all a whole family. I told him how much we both love DS and we are still a family but in a different way because M & D don't live together any more. I felt so sad for him and terribly responsble for causing him grief as I instigated the separation. However DH had an affair and we had a lot of other problems and I'm feeling such relief to be on my own.

Has anyone got suggestions for how best to handle this? DH and I are trying our best to be amicable and he just started taking the children overnight now and then. He also sees them most days doing the nursery run or popping in.

OP posts:
bubblesbabe · 11/01/2008 20:33

My advice would be to be clear and honest with him - as much as he can understand. Reassure him frequently how much you love him and how much his daddy loves him and that just because you don't live together you both still think he is the best boy ever. I went through this with my children - the youngest was 3 at the time. They need the constant reassurance that he is loved by everyone, whether he sees them everyday or not.

Alambil · 11/01/2008 23:51

There is some great kids' literature out there to help with divorce; here are some examples.

Dinosaur's Divorce

It's not your fault, Koko bear

Two of everything

Keeping things amicable (at least around the kids) and reassuring them is the best way to "handle" it; reading the stories will help too I think.

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