I need some sense talked into me

[crazyLTR]

I met a very lovely man at a work thing - we really connected and had sex (a few times ☺️). It was phenomenal.

The problem?
I’m now totally addicted to him. We work for a global company and he lives on the other side of the world. I’m sitting around like a lovelorn teenager waiting for him to message and call. I foresee heartache as this will not go anywhere. Neither of us will ever move to the other’s country and I cannot see how we can carry on a relationship like this when we are almost 20,000kms apart.

Please help me get a grip, along with strategies on how to stop this madness of falling for him so fast and so hard. We have continued to message and video call every day, and are planning to see each other at the next work thing in three months. He seems content to continue as we are but I am too into him and I need to rein myself in and treat this as a casual thing. Oh wise ones, how do I do that? Or am I crazy to think it’s possible and I’m headed for disaster and better end it now. Every time we talk I feel more and more attached to him and I am really worried I am being a fool. Please talk some sense into me!

You know deep down that it's never going to go anywhere and you admit you are falling for him. So, I think your only option is to block him, either with an explanation or not.
I don't think strategies will work for you in this case. If you were on-line dating then I'd usually say, chat to others, back off a bit, distract yourself with other interests or just look at it as temporary fun. While you're hooked on him you are missing out on other opportunities.

You speak sense @Walkingalot and my rational mind knows this but I did not want to hear it 😫. There are other complications I don't really want to get into but he is a welcome distraction and is making me feel like a new woman just when I need it. That's probably also part of the reason I am so attached - too many other emotions getting mixed up in this.

You seem like you've got your head screwed on alright. So you may eventually be a little heartbroken or come to realise it's great but I'm done now, thank you and move on. Keep giving yourself a reality check and keep your options open.

Eyes wide open OP.

Enjoy the fling but accept it for what it is. A fling. Sex. Bit of flirting to keep you sweet until next time.

Just like he’s doing with Jane in France, Paul in Italy, Sarah in the USA and Sally in Japan.

If you’ve got other crappy stuff going on in your life then welcome it as a distraction from that if there’s nothing you can do to resolve those problems, but don’t expect this to be you passport to freedom.

Sorry for the reality check 💐

I'd stop. There's a reason why you're falling so hard for him, and it's not about him. You don't know him well enough. It's about you, and either the gap in your life for things to occupy yourself with, or things in your heart to validate yourself with.

It'd be a good idea to look into why this is happening, before pursuing any relationship, with him or anyone else.

Were you loving singledom, previously, or did you really want to meet someone?

Oh my god @Watchkeys you are right - I don't know him at all and it's definitely about me. I've just come out of a very long relationship that should have ended years ago, so it's obvious that he is now filling a gap. I was not looking for something, in fact I was a little shocked that I propositioned him. And now the poor guy is in the position of knight in shining armour without even knowing it. I'm going to have to stop - this is not what I need right now. Thank you