Do you have FWB blocked?

[givingupchocolatemonday]

Wondering how anyone else's friends with benefit/booty call/ situationship ended?
On good terms? Caught feelings? Drifted apart? Blocked to stop stop going back? Found someone new?

I'm in the 'should I block otherwise I'll never stop texting him' category.

Don't want to block him as he's actualy a nice guy and I will have to speak to him time to time. Also don't want to look like I'm that bothered But it's safe to say he's playing me now and I'm starting to look a fool.
I wish I could just ignore his texts but I physically can't!!

I'm going to keep going back even though I'm worth so much better than how is treating me.

Anyone else?!

Most of my FWBs ended up fizzling out after a while. Last year I had a very intense FWB I ended up falling head over heels for (even though I knew neither of us was in the position for a relationship), and at the time I did need to block him on everything and go no contact to sort out my feelings. It took me over 3 months, but I felt ready to contact him after that, and good news is, we have our friendship back! (without the benefits). Our "problem" was that we have an amazing friendship connection, and the sex was amazing, so in a way it was inevitable that one of us at least would end up being too involved.

Like with friendships and with relationships, there are really no rules, because when you play with feelings sometimes you simply get burned. But hey, friendships and relationships don't always work either. And some FWBs are definitely worth having and persevering with.

I now have another FWB who is hot, handsome and great in bed - not as amazing as the previous one as we don't have the same connection - and I don't have any feelings for him, the intellectual gap is too large for me to see him as partner material. No idea how long it will last, perhaps till one of us finds someone else with which we will want a relationship, but at the time it suits my life.

Well he is not a nice guy if he is playing you op.

Nice people treat others with respect.

Block him because he is treating you shabbily.
Don't fuck people who don't respect you.
Amd don't lie yo yourself that they are nice, deep down. Because that's horseshit.

If he's treating you poorly, tell him exactly what you think of him, that normally does it, so in that case he won't want to contact you if you stand up for yourself. Worked for me. Look for others as a distraction.

But is he really treating the OP any differently than when she didn't have feelings for him, or is the OP who has changed, fell in love and now wants more?

How exactly is he "playing" you OP? When you have feelings for someone you develop certain expectations of availability and reciprocity that really are not there for a FWB. It sounds to me that you are the one who is breaking the FWB rules and you need to talk to him and be clear. If your feelings have changed, it is time to reevaluate the relationship, because FWB won't work for you anymore. Neither of you are in the wrong, the situation simply has changed and he can't read your mind. For him, you're still his carefree FWB. So yes, he'll contact you when he wants to see you for friendship and for sex, but he won't understand the need you have to "text him constantly" or expect he will want to see you any more often, or any more exclusively, that he does now. He also won't know he is hurting you.

You need to pull up your big girl pants and be honest to him. If this means the FWB has to change, or that you need time off to work on your feelings, then so be it. By the way you describe the situation it does not sound as he has feelings for you. Perhaps this is the problem, that your heart keeps wishing he has?

@aurynne You are right in that I want him to have feelings for me.
It's been going on way to long - 8 months and what started off as 'friends with benefits' had now dwindled to amazing sex every now and again.
Him leaving me on read etc. I really do need to get my big girl pants on. However that does not mean I will admit my feelings! Too much pride (only because I know what his response would be)

I would just love to have the strength to leave him on read also!

The most bizarre thing is.... a relationship wouldn't ever work. It's all in my head

Mine ended as quickly as it started. I caught feelings which we spoke about and he said he felt the same. Then after we met up, he text me to say that he’d still cared for someone else and couldn’t carry on with me. I was hurt snd angry, I stupidly thought we were on the same page.
We have mutual friends so decided to just be friendly and meet up with our group. Whenever we’d meet up with friends, he would flirt and I’d get excited and hopeful again.
He messaged me 3 more times to meet up. 2 of which I stupidly agreed to. The last I didn’t, told him how I felt and he got annoyed and blocked me. It really felt rubbish but the distance did me some good. It felt like a break up to me and j feel stupid for allowing myself to get feelings for him.

if you like him and think it could go somewhere then tell him. If you think he’s just using you then take a step back and don’t allow yourself to get hurt!

@givingupchocolatemonday admitting your feelings is not a weakness, but a huge strength. It is the only way you can take responsibility for your actions. No one can control who you fall in love with, but you can control what you do about it. His response to it may hurt, but it will also give you a definite answer, and it will make it easier for you to make a decision. Otherwise, your heart will keep hoping that maybe, maybe, if you see him one more time, if you say this or do that... and that is the most painful thing.

I am still friends with mine. Neither of us developed feelings it was just amazing sex at the time.

Stop being so available and get yourself out there on the market

Well I'm no longer friends with one of mine. We were friends for around 8 years. Added benefits because it suited us both for around 2 years and the sex just fizzled out. Then 2 years later he told me he loved me. I didn't reciprocate and he became a bit of a twat.

He ruined everything.

Another was a lad I went out with at school. We bumped into each other rekindled a friendship and, about 4 years later, ended up becoming fwb. It ended when I met someone but we are actually better friends post benefits than we ever were before!

Mostly, one of us just loses interest in the sex and we go back to being friends. I've always been actual friends with them first and the friendship has generally remained in tact afterwards.

I have no idea with mine. I have a feeling I'm being phased out.

Bit of a fizzle/phase out.

I learned early on I wasn't up for any of that nonsense, so if I feel it's starting, either say I'm out or give them an out.

I also start any new fwb and make it clear my expectations around this type of behaviour. Its meant to be fun, and when this stuff starts it turns it into something less fun and you end up caring more than you intended to because of the behaviour, not the person IYSWIM.

Also, try and find people who aren't your usual relationship types - makes it easier to keep in the friendzone, even with the sex.

Communication is absolutely key here. I have one who's actively dating, so we know it'll end at some point because of that.

Mine fizzled out. I got back with an ex and got pregnant and it came to a natural end. Neither of us was close to having feelings and knew a relationship wouldn't work in real life as he was 18 and immature, I was about 25, the only thing we had in common was we quite liked having sex with each other. Deleted each other's numbers and never saw each other again.

Maybe fwb isn't for you though. I think you have to be a little bit clinical about it - it shouldn't be a stealth move into getting someone to have feelings for you, and if in a place where you think you're at risk of developing feelings then either take that risk or not do it at all.

I agree with the PP, you'll probably feel relief when you take control and end it. It's okay to feel a bit sad about it, a nice thing has ended. Although maybe it was nice a while back and isn't so nice now.

I've had a couple which fizzled out but one lasted about a year, which was far too long and a mistake as I really wanted more but he wasn't in any position to have a relationship which he had made clear. I'd say, if you've got feelings, tell him so and that's the reason you can't continue to see him. Balls in his caught then and has opportunity to tell you how he feels. Honesty is best policy otherwise he's likely to attempt to contact you x

Mine started disrespecting me and my house.
I had a huge realisation one day.
He sulked off, thought that was it. Stupidly didn't block him.
6 months later he messaged me like nothing had happened!
I called out his misogynistic bullshit. He physically came to apologise. Job done. Blocked after that. His face was a picture when he genuinely thought his pitiful excuse was going to make me drop my knickers again 🤣🤣 nope. Off you fuck, don't let the door slap you on the arse on the way out.
Have to say though, that's me done with men.

OP mine was a mr nice one and still tried to be my friend .. but underneath a selfish lying bastard, because he found someone else and didn’t want to “upset” me.

absolutely go NC, it will be very hard at first and you will probably grieve for all you lost - but I felt so much better after 4/6wks

@Neverendingmindfuck love that! Well done. Mine is not blocked but I doubt he will ever come back. If he does, I will follow your approach! (Making a mental note..)

One day we just stopped sleeping together and went back to being the best of friends. You'd never know anything had happened. None of our friends have a clue

@WTAFreally you are welcome to use it.
I felt very free and just a tad smug after.
I genuinely don't think anyone had ever said NO to this prick. 🤣🤣
If you haven't used an item in 6 months you probably don't need it. Maybe that applies to ex fwb phone numbers too? 🤔