Ex and gifts?

[loupielou1]

My now ex brought a a gift for my garden as mine had broke. Now that we have split he is claiming that it wasn't a gift and wants it back. Does he have a right to have it back? I only ask as I do not want him near my home (he is abusive). But if he has rights to have it back then I will let him collect it outside my home without letting him in

Just give it him back.

Tell him to jog on.

I'd ask him to stop contacting me for pointless reasons as you don't want to be harassed, or block him.

Or tell him it's outside till 7pm and if he hasn't got it before then you'll put it as free to collect on fb so you never have to hear from him again.

No he doesn't, if you give a gift you can't ask for it back later. But is it worth it? On one hand, you shouldn't give in to abuse, but on the other, do you want it if it was from him and will cause more trouble for you?

If it's a gift it's a gift and you can tell him that. However, to be honest in this situation I'd just let him take it back, to be rid of him. It's not worth the hassle.

if he gave it to you saying it was a gift or implying it was a gift than id say its definately a gift and you dont have to give it back . however it depends on if you feel strong enough to tell him to fuck off , do you have kids with him that live with you ,, if so it might not be worth him kicking off about it . personally it would depend to me on what the gift is , if its only a strimmer or summit id chuck it outside and buy myself a new one , however if its a pricey item i guess thats different , really hed have to prove it wasnt a gift to you if hes insisnting on having it back and you want to keep it

I’d let him have it back, tell him it would be by the front door at [whatever date/time] and leave it in a bin bag in tiny, broken little pieces.

Well, probably not but I’d let him have it back, along with any other items of his, gifted or not. Get him out of your hair and life so he has no reason to contact you again.

You mention he’s abusive so I doubt it’s about him wanting the item back, it’s about him getting under your skin and keeping himself on your radar for his own amusement.

I've left it outside and told him it's there. Can't be bothered with the arguments

Good idea. He probably doesn’t even care about the item. Just being a dick. Don’t rise to it - show him he can’t manipulate you or upset you any more with his pathetic games.

It really doesn't matter who's in the right here, clearly it's you. Men that can be a petty little bastards about such stuff are seriously not worth a wank. Often blokes will winge about stuff and leave things at an exes house as an excuse to see the partner again and control them. I have had this with all 3 of my grown up daughters and ex boyfriends. They soon shut the fuck up when my girls have said " Dad said he'll drop your shit off"

Sadly I agree. The only thing that stopped my horrendous ex's verbal and petty shit was when I said any more requests had to go through my dad.

Very true on his need to still control. He came and collected and messaged an apology for his behaviour etc. I've just blocked. I know it was a way of control and still his need of control by apologising to make me thing he's actually a good guy. He knows he can't control me anymore but still trying it