He joined sperm donor groups

[whitebunnies]

Years ago I really liked a guy but it became prevalent that he was emotionally unavailable and had mood swings. I had a lucky escape. We get on better as friends and I no longer fancy him.

I was looking at Facebook groups to join. I noticed in suggested groups that he had joined all these sperm donor groups in the last few months. He is 50 and seems to target women who are 30 saying he can help them. This guy is a commitment phobe and is unsuccessful with women in real life and online dating as he lacks confidence.

I do not want to date him but out of curiosity would his motives for sperm donation be to have his own child or just sleep with a woman 20 years younger claiming he wants to 'help'?

He lives a lifestyle of solo holidays, attending social groups to meet new people and is not keen on children. I don't know why he would do this for free though a Facebook group.

Maybe it likes the idea of having children out there but like you say doesn't want to commit, probably for his own ego boost rather than wanting to help.
He seems a bit old for it now though and creepy thought of being contacted directly by a donor, aren't these things best anonymous, maybe that's another thread

would his motives for sperm donation be to have his own child or just sleep with a woman 20 years younger claiming he wants to 'help'?

The latter. If he just wanted a genetic legacy or to help childless couples/women, he'd be donating to a sperm bank.

Maybe he is keen because he likes the idea of leaving a legacy but also could be motivated by ego. There's two types of donation : AI (artificial insemination) as opposed to NI (natural insemination so sex). Sperm obtained via a sperm bank is thoroughly tested for genetic illnesses as well as STIs. It costs upwards of a £1000 and more so perhaps he knows this and feels it is an unfair barrier to women/couples who want a family but can't afford to go via the regulated route.

Very few women / couples looking for donor sperm are interested in going down the having sex with the donor route (and if he’s been contacted by any of them that will have become clear, and is probably in the group admin notes) so I doubt that’s his motivation. Regulated sperm banks have an age cut off, same as egg banks, which will limit his official options.

Perhaps he really is just looking to do something altruistic. I live a life much like this man, socialising, lavish holidays, no interest in having a family, don’t even like children. But a couple of years ago I altruistically donated eggs, just because it seemed like a decent thing to do. I’d find it a bit weird if somebody I knew years ago was speculating on nefarious reasons of why I might have done it.

I watched a documentary on this a few years ago. Some men do it to help out couples who could not afford an 'official' donor. Some were married men with children of their own (some of their wives were unaware ). Others I suspect just wanted to know they had offspring out there somewhere. Most were artificial donations, some natural but these were the minority.