Telling hookup I want more

[poppcornx]

We started as friends, both single, and got into a routine of seeing each other casually. I really enjoy his company; we get on great.

Its been a couple of months of this, and I want to find a relationship now so our casual arrangement can’t continue. i really like him and would be open to dating but i dont want to be too forward or pushy - part of me thinks if he wanted to date me he would have brought the subject up.

I'm not sure what to say - should I just tell him I’m going to start dating now, as I want to find a relationship, then leave the ball in his court if he suggests us dating?

thanks in advance.

Dating can take ages, I wouldn’t push him to the side until you have a date and it becomes official, which could take months.

Why stop seeing him? I'd continue to see him and date as well until I found someone who wanted to be exclusive with me. You could go on 50 dates and not like any of them so I really wouldn't even broach the subject with your hookup at all

I tend to agree with posters above, unless you feel that your hookup is making you less emotionally open to others.

Thanks for the replies. This is the first casual hookup I’ve had, I’ve always had long term relationships previously so I’m not sure of the etiquette 😂 but I do like him, so is it not worth bringing up that I’m open to a relationship? Or am I right in thinking if he was interested in me in more than a hookup arrangement he would have said so by now.

Don’t hint or leave things open to him having to interpret what you mean, it’s setting you both up to fail. Tell him that you’ve been enjoying the fun but have been considering the direction you want your life to take and have realised that you see it involving a secure and committed relationship. Acknowledge that that wasn’t what was agreed when you first stated hooking up and you understand and accept that he might not be looking for the same, but that if he would also like to progress things further, you’re keen to explore that and see where things go; but otherwise you’re going to begin dating other people.

Agree with previous poster about not necessarily having to end the casual thing now, unless you think you need the mental and emotional end in order to move on.

Just communicate how you feel. And unless you want a relationship with someone you have to consult a forum about every time you need to raise an issue, pick someone you don't need to consult a forum about!

Do you know why he is interested in a hook up?

Why not just say you loving the hook ups but you're going to get too involved if it keeps on going, so you're calling time on it, and thanks for the awesome times, or if he wants to try dating as a bit more of a romantic thing, you're open to that too? It'd be a chilled out way to say where you are emotions-wise, you won't lose face, it's just a human nature call, and he will feel relaxed enough to say how he's really feeling.

You never know, he may be feeling the exact same way but doesn't want to bring it up because he thinks that if it's what you wanted, you would've said something. Just ask, surely you've got nothing to lose

I wouldn't keep waiting, that will give you false hope.
Ask if he's open to a relationship, you won't know unless you ask.

You need to just ask where his head is at regarding relationships and if he feels like there is a chance for more than a causal set up between you both… etc

With respect, it’s your life and you need to own it, rather than being passive and just assuming what you want will drop in your lap if you just wait long enough.

lets be blunt, you’re letting this guy see your fanny but you’re too scared to have a conversation about the situation ? That’s bizarre to me!

Just tell him you enjoy his company and you'd be open to a proper relationship with him. He'll either run for the hills, tell you hed like to give it a go, or he'll turn a blind eye and just try to carry on the status quo. You could carry on seeing him while you start trying to date others, but be careful if you're starting to fall for him as it will make you emotionally unavailable to dating others seriously.

Have you spoken to him yet OP?