30 and single?

[sweetpea002]

Hi a bit embarrassing but oh well. I am 30 and single. I have had one 2 year relationship a few years ago but other than that I haven't really been interested but feel ready now.

How hard is it to find a partner in your 30s? I feel like a loser.

I don't have kids or any old relationship baggage/ drama.

What is the best serious dating website to meet people? I have just been interested in work and that's all really, I don't go clubbing and only really go for dinner a few nights a month with friends (not really places to meet a partner)

please be nice, thanks x

Hey! I'm 30 and recently single. It's not as bad as it seems/some people make it out to be. There's a lot of single women in their 30s and every other age - it's normal and people aren't losers for being single and neither are you!

If you're ready to begin dating then perhaps try out a few of the online apps (tinder, OkCupid, match, bumble, hinge etc). There's no hard and fast rule about which app is the best for finding a relationship, you just have to find the app which works best for you.

Good luck :)

Sign up for some dating apps as PP suggested, and also sign up for social activity groups like Spice and for any hobbies you would genuinely enjoy for their own sake but which attract men too (surfing, rock climbing, fell walking, cycling, chess, orchestra etc).

I know people who met their spouse from doing all of these, from Tinder to Spice to hobby groups.

Are you religious? I went to a big church in a city that had a good young people social group, specifically to find a husband. I wasn’t a Christian but I wasn’t anti. I imagine other religions have similar.
If you aren’t religious then maybe something like Rotoract/Rotary.

I feel like a loser

Fix this first. If finding a partner is the thing that stops you feeling like a loser, your relationship will have a lot of pressure on it. 'Don't leave me, or I'll be a loser again!'

Google single celebrities. You'll see that you're in the company of lots of good looking, rich, happy, successful people.

So, if it's not being single that makes you feel like a loser, what is it?

I’m nearly 32 and single. I’m most certainly not a loser and neither are you.

I became single at 30 after an LTR, met DH at 33. Have 3 kids now. Appreciate this was a while ago now (although it feels like yesterday) but I was just as stressed as you are at being single at 30 and it worked out great. 30 is honestly nothing and if I had my time again I'd be much more adventurous at being newly single (sabatical, summer abroad £10 ticket to Australia for Working Holiday etc). View it as liberating!

Thanks everyone ❤️

Also I didn’t mean to offend anyone else in their 30s and single as a “loser” I think maybe because I see my friends in relationships it hits home they may think that I am.

@sweetpea002 words are important. How you talk/think about yourself is important. You feel like a loser? You exude loser. Your friends might be in relationships but that doesn’t mean they look down on you. If they do then you need better friends as well as a different mindset.

First of all, you are not a loser.

Secondly, there is way too much pressure from society (particularly for women) to have it all by the age of 30. The career, the husband, the babies. Life just doesn't work out like that and it's okay.

Lots of people meet their partners much later in life. Lots of people meet their partners young and end up divorced.

30 isn't even old. Too much emphasis is placed on 30.

Just focus on you, get fitter, get stronger, get smarter, find some hobbies, explore new places. Be the best version of you. And when someone does come along, they'll be adding to your already glorious life rather than filling a space.

I feel exactly like you OP. I’m 28, no kids, incredibly single and I don’t know why. I get sad and lonely when I look at all my friends who are in long term relationships, have babies and are engaged.

Its hard to explain as I feel like a failure and a loser when looking at my own life. But I would never see another single person and think of them as a loser. (If that makes sense)

What I’m trying to do is accept that we are all unique and on different paths. Some people
meet “the one” at 16. Some in their 20s. Some in their 30s and so on. We should never compare our lives and situations to others. Jealousy is normal, but we shouldn’t let it ruin our lives or expectations. And that everything happens for a reason♥️

Thank you ❤️ We’ll all get where we need to be in the end x

Being in a relationship doesn't define you. I think you need to evaluate why you think this way and tackle that first.

I think it's important to remember you don't know what goes on behind closed doors, you only have to read on here how many people are coupled up but unhappy or dealing with cheating/ abusive partners etc
Being single is better than being in a shite relationship just so you can tick that box.
Now, obviously nobody would set out to have a shite relationship but what I mean is, so many people tolerate so much bullshit because society has branded anyone single is a loser.... they're really not.

Do what makes you happy, find hobbies, and yes date if you want to. But don't make that the answer to everything.

Also re the dating apps - they're all a load of crap but there are good guys hiding among all the pricks. Advice would be don't take anyone seriously until you've properly met them and got to know them. Don't over invest in anyone. If it's not fun, stop doing it.
I actually ended up meeting the 'nicer' guys on the shit apps (tinder/ badoo) - the paid or more serious ones, I found to be full of pretentious wankers 😬