I’ve been married for 9 years. A few months after DH stopped kissing me or showing any type of affection. Wouldn’t engage in any intimacy or compliment me. Basically started to slowly discard me and treat me horribly. He wasn’t like this before I married him, I was love bombed massively and thought he was the loveliest guy on earth until his mask slipped off.
This has all happened in such a way, I didn’t realise what was going on at the time. But i am now coming to realise he’s a big narc and I’ve been being emotionally abused for years. Staying home with no money, Forced to have children I didn’t want, isolated from family, walking on egg shells daily, gaslit and degraded, etc etc etc.
I’ve thought things were not right for a while but he always tells me I’m mad, I have postpartum rage, and I’m crazy etc. And I genuinely started to think it was true, and he convinced me I was having intrusive thoughts. My gut was telling me I am not crazy so I went and had a look on his phone and he’s on every dating site under the sun. Also many sex sites with naked pictures of himself saying he’s looking for someone to “humiliate for his pleasure only” also he’s on only fans paying for women to cover themself in feaces and seems to be heavily in to BDSM. He has hundreds of nude images (full of gynaecology) he seems to be getting women to send him. Also he has his own porn blog on something called BDSMLR. I think it’s the equivalent to tumblr? There’s so much more but I don’t want to make the thread too long.
anyway i confronted him with his naked pictures so he can’t deny it, he deleted the whole file off my phone and told me he doesn’t know what I’m talking about and just keeps gaslighting me.
im financially dependent on him and not in work. I’m extremely anxious at the moment, my hearts racing. I would like to try and get my ducks in a row and look in to what I’m entitled to and try finding somewhere to rent, but the anxiety is crippling me, how il afford the bills, foods gone up, etc. I want to go to the drs and tell them how anxious I am due to him putting me on egg Shells and try some medication but I’m scared they’ll report him for coercive control. Is this something the GP Will do? I don’t want to cause any trouble.