Unsupportive DP or unrealistic expectations?

[SandyTandy]

I’m 3 months pregnant and my DP has been a little….less than enthusiastic shall we say! He’s always asking how I am and gets the food I like and is quite practical with stuff like planing ahead for maternity and so on… but when it comes down to anything remotely close to actual baby chat he’s really not bothered!

The three month scan is coming up and I asked if he was coming and he sort of frowned a bit and said erm yeah I don’t know will have to see about work. I just don’t get it!! I’m not expecting him to be jumping for joy and crawling the walls to go but I guess I always assumed he would be a bit more keen.

Same with wallpaper chat for bedroom or where we could take them on holiday etc. He is v funny in that he is happy to go along with my suggestions but it’s obvious he is not really bothered! He doesn’t contribute to ideas or anything. I do have friends that I chat with but my sister has such a supportive partner that I can’t help but compare.

On a more serious note sometimes he says I could work from home while looking after the baby to save childcare costs…obviously this would be impossible! I’ve told him and he accepted what I said no issue but I can’t understand why he thinks these things are workable.

My expectations are probably way off but I feel like I’m the only one of us expecting a baby!

Was the pregnancy planned? He sounds like he’s not really got the grips with the concept of you being pregnant yet.

sounds like an unplanned pregnancy (at least on his end).

You are still quite early on so it could be that he’s waiting for the scans and time to feel more secure/excited?

I don’t think we were talking about holidays or anything until after baby was here.

I would absolutely expect him to want to go to the scan though.. that is a bit strange.

i do find that women and men discuss pregnancy/children quite differently- my husband is very practical whereas my girlfriends like to discuss various scenarios etc - even with older children

Tbh loads of pregnant women aren’t thinking about wallpapering the nursery or where to take the baby on holiday at 12 weeks.

He should want to be at the scan but it sounds like he’s looking after you and being positive generally.

I think it’s relevant if it was planned, but even if it was he’s only known about the pregnancy for about 10 weeks and loads of people - mums and dads - take a while to get used to the idea. It’s early days, there’s plenty of time to talk about long term stuff.