Fear long term loneliness

[Mintchocicechip]

I'm 33 and just got out an abusive relationship that lasted 18 months. Older man. I am not ready for anything else right now. I'm only a month single. But I realise now I don't ever particularly end up in environments where I'd meet men.

I have two children. I do a little cleaning job twice a week. I do school runs. See my friends to go for walks or food. Take the kids places. Pop to the shops and stuff. I'm.not interested in the gym. I can't afford it either. But I just feel lonely in an adult sense. I love the kids and can be happy with my friends. But all I keep thinking is what now?

Will I ever meet someone again to share a life with. To build a home and garden with. To go on days out together with the kids or without. Or someone to cuddle up to and have a sex life with.

I know people use dating apps now but I don't feel at all ready as there's a high chance they will be messaging others too and you are basically in competition.

One of the biggest reasons I've split up with my ex is he was up to no good on his phone messaging his ex and everyone in between.

I know I'm going to be fine and being alone now is essential to my recovery. But I just can't imagine being alone now and never experiencing a happy relationship.

It's still very early days. Well done getting out of your abusive relationship. That can't have been easy. Try to spend a while on your own until you feel like you are in the right place to date again.

When you are ready then think about ways to meet men. There is always OLD. I have also known a friend to meet partners while out walking her dog. Maybe you have friends who can introduce you to men who they know who are nice.

You will meet someone nice in the future.

You've been through a tough time and need to look after yourself first 💐

Take some time for yourself and don't even think about dating. That's the mistake I made. I'm a lot older than you and it doesn't get any easier to meet people. OLD is not great, I've tried it many times so you have to approach that with a very thick skin!

But I just can't imagine being alone now and never experiencing a happy relationship

Why would you bother imagining it, though? Life can turn on a sixpence, and often, completely unexpectedly. If you do the best you can do for yourself, just for today, and then repeat every day, you'll be fine. One of the days might have a windfall in it. One of them might have a lovely prize from a competition in it. One of them might have a lovely man in it... you just don't know. There's really no point in worrying about all the days today. What a burden!