Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

‘They always come back’ messed up a talking stage

7 replies

Cloboooo123 · 07/05/2022 22:09

Heya

Just wanted some ladies advice/input. I think I came on a bit too intense with a guy and scared him off. Normally with guys I’ve chatted to and it fell off for whatever reason I end up crossing paths with them again or they swing back round and I wondered if it seemed likely in this scenario or not. I recognise he wasn’t interested and I was probably a bit intense/immature so I’d appreciate not being bashed for it.

To cut a long story short I was chatting to a guy for about 3 months we met up twice after about 2 months.

One day after We were chatting by text all day and towards the end of I asked if he wanted to meet up and he apologised and said he couldn’t that week as he was super busy. I just said no worries bla bla (he works two jobs) didn’t bother me
We chatted again later that week

I didn’t hear from him for a couple days so popped up to see how he was, we were talking about the weekend and I asked if he wanted to meet up

He said he couldn’t that week. I said no worries but if he didn’t want to at all or wasn’t feeling it that was cool too

He left me on read and I messaged (shouldnt have but hate having mixed messages or wasting time)
I said why entertain it at all if you aren’t bothered, no need to ignore me.

He responded saying he was confused as we hadn’t made plans that weekend so what did he entertain and he doesn’t understand what I mean by feeling it

I said sorry I thought by leaving it you were saying you didn’t want to etc. And I meant feeling it has in to meet up again. (I know at this point he’s not interested)

He said we’ve met twice and he was even more confused as how would he know if he was feeling it or not

I just went back saying don’t worry about it and left it.
He messaged saying could I clarify what I meant by feeling it

I was like look sorry for any confusion; I struggle with messaging a lot (we’d had no calls that week) I didn’t mean feeling it as a whole just in terms of meeting up again or not. I understand if he’s busy as we both are I just wondered where you were at.

He left me on read and I didn’t hear from him again for a few weeks so removed him as his hidden me from his socials and I just felt like he was waiting me to disappear and also if you were interested I’d have heard from him in that time.

This was a while ago but I’m kinda struggling to let it go. (Ridiculous I know) We had good chemistry and he’s a really lovely dude. (Seemed to be anyway)

Would it be at all possible me and him may cross paths again someday or him pop back up sometime and should I apologise? I know I need to work on my communication also, I’m going through a stage of self work and healing lately so I’m hoping that will help with the whole letting go thing.

OP posts:
LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 07/05/2022 22:16

How on earth does he sound like a lovely dude?

Monty27 · 07/05/2022 22:17

You probably will come across him again. If you're still interested I'd play it cool. And don't ask him again. If he does ask and you want to then do it. But slow it up 👍🏼

seensome · 07/05/2022 22:18

I can't see what you have to apologise for, he wasn't that interested or he wouldn't of ignored you. I think you need to work on letting go of this, concentrate on men that are enthusiastic about meeting you.

ToletPoster · 07/05/2022 22:21

You probably won't hear from him again if he has any sense tbh

Whatsthestoryboringglory · 07/05/2022 22:22

He’s not interested. If he was, he’d have pushed for meeting up again. I’d suggest moving on.

MadMadMadamMim · 07/05/2022 22:25

Just forget about it. He wasn't interested, and made little effort. Next time, (with someone else) message once to ask if they want to meet up and if they brush it off with being busy, or any other excuse then leave it.

Don't message again, offering a second chance. If they are interested they will contact you, and if not then better to recognise it immediately and not hang hopefully around for weeks, investing wasted energy in them.

I don't imagine you'll cross paths with this one again, or that if you do anything will change. He knew where to get hold of you if he wanted to, but hasn't done.

TreadLightly3 · 07/05/2022 22:25

Please read “He’s just not that into you” it’s such a brilliant book and will save you tons of angst and heartache in future. As PP said if he was into you, there’s no way he wouldn’t be pushing to meet up again. Good luck finding someone worth your fabulousness xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page