Controlling behaviour, nagging and manipulative

[TheMostAnnoyin]

Can I please have some opinions as I’m feeling a bit confused ?

I have been accused of being all of the above. Especially the nagging.
the reasons for this are life admin/ household tasks/ discussing important issues.

DP eyes glaze over whenever I talk about anything like this and I’m told all admin paperwork applications or things like insurance and pensions are down to me and I have to do even his- if I try to discuss any aspects I get told in nagging controlling and manipulative and how all should be expected to do is go to work and have a clear mind and to relax the rest of the time .

Im really hurt because I’m just talking and trying to sort out things that need doing ? But no it’s nagging 😞

Whats your housing situation? Please please please don't tell us you're living in a property that he alone owns.

Of course not ! It’s in my name because I do all the admin etc !! Which I think might be a great thing

Brilliant - tell him to shape up or ship out - start thinking about how you'd manage with your salary plus tax credits. I know your currently a SAHM but start thinking about your future earnings and putting plans in place. At least then you'd get every other week-end to yourself, plus cut down on the drudge work you do for him.

And stop doing his admin.

Basically it's HIM being manipulative in order to shut you down.

I've always said that at a bare minimum, a partner should be a nice human being. This guy isn't even a decent one. Life is too short op!

Renting or owned?

Either way, tell him you did some admin and you are both moving out, hire a van using his driving licence put all his stuff in it, change the locks and give him the van keys. And never let him back in.

Stop doing anything for him and start looking at the practicalities of your life, going back to work, childcare etc.

Reach out for support.

He is abusive, you deserve better.

I don’t know how it happened to me, but I now can’t discuss finances and stuff with my DH. I feel awkward starting the conversation and he always seems to get the better of me.
I feel for you OP.

Their eyes glaze over and expression changes then few seconds later the ‘you’re nagging’ starts

I think I was meant to be near silent and just get things done with no discussion but if he wants to talk about something then I’m meant to be all ears eager and bright eyed and engaged 😬

But I can’t be arsed anymore so I’d rather be classed as a nagger than be that way. I’m glad I starred this thread I knew anyway but to feel seen and validated has helped a lot

It's bullying behaviour. He wants you to all the emotional labour and he punishes you with name calling and eye glazing to keep you in line.
He's very lazy and manipulative.
If he won't discuss anything like an adult, decide what you want to do. Draw the line. Tell him.