How do I stop this! I cant take it anymore

[Freegal]

I've posted before about my parents ridding themselves of me because I spoke my mind (under a different UN). But one of them keeps coming back and leaving items at my door. I contacted the police after an incident not long ago but they 'never got around' to talking to them. Now countless bags have been left at my property since. If they'd spoken to her in the first place or maybe second time (I know they're busy but once this policeman says he forgot to go!) by now she'd have been in trouble for keep coming when I've requested she doesn't.
It's at the point now I can't keep having her come back I feel like I have no control over my property and I want her to leave us alone after causing so much distress. A parent telling you you're nothing to do with them anymore and telling your whole family you're such a nasty person is just awful.
I cant keep doing this 😢sorry needed the rant

What is in the bags ?

What are they leaving that the police are involved? Is it horrible, or are they trying to win you back?

Are they gifts? In which case record everything and log it with police of you feel it is harassment.
If they were your belongings left in their home, you need to speak to them once arrange a date and go and clear everything

Donate them to charity and get a solicitor to tell her to stay away.

I mean - unless it’s actual harassment, this might be one of those things that you need to just harden your heart to and ignore. Do you have a partner? Can they take charge of disposing of the bags?

You’ve made a very brave & big decision to cut the ties. Well done.
Write to her. Tell her to stay away. Keep a copy. If she doesn’t stay away, have a solicitors letter sent to her.
If that fails, it’s harassment & I would think the police could be asked to intervene & would do so because they’ll have evidence that you’ve tried everything else.
I feel for you. It must be very wearing.

Sorry to clear stuff up they're bags of food items. The police were only involved when they turned up at my door shouting and swearing because I dared to return one of the bags with a note saying please stop. It also meant social services were contacted because my child witnessed the whole thing.
I might just need to develop some harder skin but why should I when I only want her to leave me and my family alone? It's just a permanent reminder I asked her to keep away and she keeps coming back to show me who's boss.

Grey rock. Put the items in the bin and make no further reference to them.
They’re doing it to provoke a reaction- don’t give them one.

I’d say to put it in a food bank, but that’s a job you then need to do.
I think I’d either use/bin it or give it to a neighbour who is happy to have it.
You need to do whatever stops you stressing about it, don’t let it get to you.

Thanks everyone, I know it's so trivial and there's much worse things going on, sometimes I just need that little bit of space to let the steam off!

I might just need to develop some harder skin but why should I when I only want her to leave me and my family alone? It's just a permanent reminder I asked her to keep away and she keeps coming back to show me who's boss.

You’re the boss. Change your mindset. She can’t show you she’s in charge through food you don’t want left on your doorstep. Donate it to a food bank, or if it’s cooked items just bin it. Do not give any reaction at all - no notes to say please stop, no communication.

Eventually it will stop. But only if you don’t give any oxygen to the flames. It’s awful and uncomfortable and goes against your natural instincts but that’s what no contact is, to begin with at least.

I agree, solicitors letter is the best way forward. Yes it will cost a bit but the peace of mind is worth it.

Flytipping on your land

You know who dumped it so they should be prosecuted.

Maybe a Ring doorbell or borrow a cctv camera to record to show who exactly

Or move.

Try the police again

It's not trivial, it is distressing and bullying behaviour.

I have a similar situation with my Mum. It isn't a case of hardening my heart because I experienced years of abuse from her and seeing her/knowing I might see her is a trigger for me.

I am moving house to put a stop to mine. I won't tell her my address and will withhold it from two of my siblings because I don't trust them not to pass it on.

I am also moving to a flat so am doubly protected.

If I couldn't move I would consider a restraining order.

I have also blocked her number and email.

I will have a three month mail forwarding once I move but no longer than that.

I am also just about to ask my bank to block money she might put in my account for birthdays etc.

She will never accept my boundaries and I will never again accept her abuse.

Go grey rock.