Dating ‘going to therapy’

[Lovechildp]

Have any of you guys ever expierenced this?

in the most recent few months dating - MANY of the Men I have went out with 1-3 times (very early) have told me very early on they go to therapy.

1. First date - told me he had been going to therapy for a year due to processing his last break up. Asked me if I went to therapy too - I said No.
2. Second date - told me he had therapy as he was sexually abused as a child.
3. Second date - told me he used therapy and psychic mediums to optimise his work
4. First date - went to therapy past four years to deal with childhood issues with his father and historical sexually abuse within his family. None of his family speak currently speak to him and say he is ‘delusional’.

Now, nothing more ever happened with any of these guys. But. It seems like many of them are telling me, a stranger, on a first date exceptionally personal information. I have used therapy before and I do not think even my sisters knew. My close friends have used it and not told me for years after. Not that there is anything wrong or to be ashamed of using therapy whatsoever.

Is this some sort of new trend? Or some sort of dating advice these guys get? I just seem to think it is strange I never used to encounter this and then to have so many, so close together - and to divulge so quickly.

they also never mention the pandemic being the issue - as it appears some of them used therapy before this.

part of me does feel single men in their 30s using dating apps tend towards being odd anyway - and perhaps it is a ‘shit test’ to see how much drama one is willing to put up with (also assessing needs for a free therapist). Anyway - it is a huge turn off. Anyone else expierenced this?

Thats my topics 😂

where you went on holiday last, whats your cats name. What sort of stuff do you do at the gym 😂

We should go on a date, lovechildp! 😂 Don't care about cats, but well up for holidays and gym talk 👍

i have has two ‘normal’ dates since beginning of the year - neither of these guys mentioned exes or therapy - I am still dating them both.

1. spoke about climbing his parents his dogs his job and his last holiday to oman
2. spoke about getting new curtains and a floor in his flat, how he sees my friend who is his next door neighbour and showed me pictures of his trip to norway

Both normal first date chats - nothing heavy

they are in the minority though and those are the ones i have kept in touch with so 😂😂

I am all in favour of therapy and don't think it should carry enough of a stigma so as to not be slippable-into a conversation if it happens to be relevant to the topic.

However, I am always a bit suspicious of any man who wants to share with me an unusual level of personal information so early. Yes, a good conversation can end up delving into the more sensitive topics. However, if a man was to proactively offer up the sorts of details in date 4, I would wonder about his boundary keeping, social awareness and/ or his motives.

Makes me think of someone recently who turned out quite unpleasant and manipulative who told me all about his experience of being bullied at school very early on. I think first date. Turned out he had read a load of advice on Reddit about appearing vulnerable in order to foster a connection quickly. Bah.

I think they are all reading a handbook to have sex as quickly as possible

I'd be wary of any man who divulged early on that they were abused. Met 2 who did this, and yes, at the time I probably cut them more slack than I ought to with bad behaviour, both were not good BF material. I'd avoid anyone who thought it appropriate to come out with something so serious to a stranger, it's setting you up to tolerate their crap behaviour.

Oooo, therapy top trumps??
Men used to say stuff like 'my wife didn't understand me' or 'she withholds the children from me' to garner sympathy from the gullible.
Sounds like they're looking for a weak spot, a chink in the armour.
Those men definitely have a dressing gown of doom I'd say.

This was my instinct also. All of them got cut off.

I think so - I am starting to think the therapy is the new ‘my wife doesnt understand me’…