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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please. Should I take the temp job?

8 replies

Namechangerr1 · 06/05/2022 06:56

Hello. I would appreciate some advice. Not sure if I've posted in the right place. I had a period of depression late last year after my marriage ended and I stupidly slept with my manager. It came about when I was signed off sick and he started messaging me every day. I confided in him about my separation and - I believe now looking back - I was coerced into sleeping with him. The reason I say that is the depression was awful when I was signed off. I couldn't think straight and I don't think I was in a position to make that kind of decision. I was taking Prozac and the side effects made me feel hazy and were generally awful.

I was new to my role at the time and when the flirty messages started I didn't really know how to stop it all once I got involved. Omicron was around at the time so I used that as an excuse as to why he didn't want to go out on a 'date'.

I thought we were becoming friends and I was able to open up to him about my mental health. Anyway after speaking every day for a few months and thinking we 'had something' he dropped me like a stone as soon as we slept together. Stopped replying to messages, or taking a day to reply

What's worse is how he treated me at work. He started saying good morning to everyone but me. I'd turn up to find everyone in a meeting or training session I wasn't invited to and when I asked id be expected to catch up or sort it out myself. My younger female colleague became the next centre of attention, giving her more interesting work and letting her WFM more than is allowed

It came to a head when I called him one day and got quite angry about the situation. I'm not proud of that. Since then I've asked to move teams which has been granted (I made an excuse as to why I wanted to move) he walked past me the other day and didn't even say hello

I feel worthless. I've developed a major case of imposter syndrome and feel shit at my job. I feel like no one would ever want me

I wouldn't normally do this. I know it was a silly thing to do. I just felt alone.

I thought this would be my career but I've been looking at temp work and I've found something. Should I take the temp role just to get out of here? Or any tips on how I should stick this out? I still cry most days, a few months on.

OP posts:
TigerLilyTail · 06/05/2022 07:00

Life is too short to be miserable at work. I’d take the temp job as they often turn into permanent roles (from my experience),

Your manager is a twat. He has behaved terribly here. If they try and make you work notice, tell them the full reason why you are leaving.

Namechangerr1 · 06/05/2022 11:15

Bumping.

OP posts:
Namechangerr1 · 06/05/2022 11:17

Sorry just bumping as desperate for any opinions or for someone to listen 😔 leaving would probably be the right thing to do but at the same time it feels like I'd be wasting what I have now.

OP posts:
FoundationClassic529 · 06/05/2022 12:22

1000s of people are changing jobs after the covid restrictions have ended

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, he is horrid

Update your CV & LinkedIn & apply for lots of new jobs

There are better people & better jobs out there for you !

TigerLilyTail · 07/05/2022 11:51

How are you doing today? It sounds like a difficult situation. 😔

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/05/2022 13:36

Bastard. How long have you worked there?

I'd personally prefer to look for something permanent before leaving. Do you know how long the contract is? If its 3 months + then I'd probably take it just to get away from the dickhead.

I really hope you do a leaving interview and tell hr what happened. You won't be the first vulnerable woman he's done this to.

Namechangerr1 · 09/05/2022 10:41

I've worked in this department for a year but longer in the organisation as a whole. I decided not to report to HR simply because I thought it would backfire on me. (He's been in his role 20+ years).
I just think I'd end up looking silly.
The only reason I considered it was with a view to getting a transfer to another department. But I'm not sure how feasible this is.
I don't know why he did it in the first place, if it was so "unprofessional and wrong" as he stated afterwards.

OP posts:
Piglet80 · 09/05/2022 20:18

God just leave already.. no job is worth that

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