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Relationships

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Partner leaving

23 replies

FridaFish · 05/05/2022 23:52

I'm devastated but right now really need advice.
Simplified version:
We own the house together. Tenants in common. His share is much more: 3/4 to my 1/4. Mortgage will be paid off in a few months.
He's moving out.
He wants me to pay rent to him as I'm staying and own less of the house.
Can't sell without losing money as the house is mid-building work. (He also doesn't want to pay anymore towards this currently, which means I will be heating less and living in semi -building site, literally, unless I pay all myself.)
Can he make me pay rent? I can't find anything online.
Anyone with any legal knowledge can help me?
TIA x

OP posts:
FridaFish · 05/05/2022 23:53

I mean heatingless, ie no heating

OP posts:
Moodycow78 · 05/05/2022 23:58

I've no Idea sorry but that sounds shit, if he doesn't want to pay for the building work then it doesn't get done does it? I can't see how he could force you to pay rent though if you both own it, call his bluff and just say no xx

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 06/05/2022 00:01

Mortgage in joint names? How does it get paid? You’re both jointly and severally liable, so if one of you doesn’t pay then the lender will look to the other for payment in full.

LittleOwl153 · 06/05/2022 00:03

He probably can push the rental element or something towards his additional share of the house... however a house with no heating is not rentable so there is no rental value. He needs to cough up his 75% to complete the building works and then he can consider his position with regard to rent- when the place is actually rentable/saleable....

LemonTT · 06/05/2022 00:07

in general I would say that he has decided to leave on his own accord he should continue to meet his mortgage obligations which he will recover when it is sold. If you told him to leave then you should expect to cover the full mortgage because you are depriving him of a home and forcing him to rent or lodge with friends and family.

Otherwise if you don’t want to stay in it then don’t. But you both need to decide how to deal with your joint obligations that arise from not wanting to sell at a loss and not wanting to live there.

The mortgage and works need to finished off. You both have obligations to pay for that regardless of whether you live there. Presumably if you left that means you pay a quarter and also rent elsewhere.

Also remember that both the mortgage company and your insurers will have clauses about the property not being vacant for a long period of time. That’s something you both need to sort out.

It might be best to vacate and get the work finished faster. But you still have a period when it will be put on the market.

Basically no good solutions for either of you, unless you are willing to loss money.

FridaFish · 06/05/2022 00:11

Thanks for all the replies so far. We will both carry on paying the mortgage. That's not an issue. And all will be paid by December.

This is such a headfuck. How did it come to this? :-(

OP posts:
FridaFish · 06/05/2022 00:14

A problem with the building work is that he doesn't want to pay someone else to do it. He wants to do it himsrlf, but in his own timeframe. In a few years, maybe.
And if I want to get it done by someone, he won't pay as thinks will be too expensive/poor quality.

OP posts:
FridaFish · 06/05/2022 00:15

And I can't really afford it myself, anyway.

OP posts:
LetitiaLeghorn · 06/05/2022 00:28

If it'll take him a few years to finish the building work, he won't be able to sell it for a decent price, so who is he expecting to be living in the house? If your mortgage is finished in December, can you both not just pay it off now and him buy you out?

Overthewine · 06/05/2022 06:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

PaterPower · 06/05/2022 08:16

so you’d be paying to finish off the building work but he’d be getting the majority of the equity which you’d be adding by doing so?

Doesn’t sound like a good idea to me, but then I guess if it’s effectively unsaleable then you’re not going to get your quarter stake back if you leave..?

Do you have “handy” family or friends that could come in and help you finish the major works for cost price? What’s the scale of what needs doing?

KangarooKenny · 06/05/2022 08:20

No, you are giving him money if you pay for the building work. He needs to pay about 75% if that’s what he owns.
He needs to maintain his share of the house, or it goes up for sale.

RoyKentsChestHair · 06/05/2022 08:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

That’s what I’d do. I wouldn’t want to live in a building site or with an ex. I’d move out, send him my 25% of the mortgage for now and get some legal advice re selling. Sorry you’re having to deal with this, it sounds really hard to have all this upheaval on top of the relationship break down.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 06/05/2022 08:24

So he owns more of it, he is the cause of the building work, he is the reason it is going slowly and he wants you to pay for it? Sod that for a game of soldiers.

Move out tomorrow and ask him to pay you rent for your share! See how he likes that. Basically the issues are all of his making. He buys you out and he can carry on as he pleases.

You need to sort your own housing issues as you are now single. But mostly, move out. The house is not yours, will never be yours and he is the one making it unfit to live in and unsaleable. That is HIS problem to solve.

LemonTT · 06/05/2022 10:45

I think you need to get legal advice.

A court could certainly compel the sale of the house now, or a buy out. But this would be at the current value. Presumably this is were one or both of you make a loss.

The legal advice you need is whether you could compel him to fund or accept completion of outstanding work within a reasonable timeframe. There is of course the question of where this money would come from and how long the legal action would take.

what is the “loss” in this situation? It sounds like there is a lot of equity. How much would it cost to get it sellable?

Get the legal advice. Then work out what is the least worst option for you. In the meantime make it clear to him that right now that’s selling at a loss. Tell him you will go to court to force a sale of needs be. He’s gaming you and you need to game him.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 06/05/2022 10:48

That!

Do it today. Do it before he starts something else.

Marmight · 06/05/2022 10:50

I wouldn't pay him rent to live on a building site.
Could you move out so he could move back and finish the work?

LittleOwl153 · 06/05/2022 12:58

I would look at selling too. What will it cost to get it habitable- I mean for mortgage purposes (so functional heating etc?)

I would tidy up what you can, get a couple of estate agents to value, and taking into account the costs of getting it market ready (not complete overhaul just habitable) make him a buy out offer for him to buy you out. Otherwise you are going to be stuck with your name on a property/mortgage and money tied up for a long time. With him in control.

LemonTT · 06/05/2022 13:26

He might be all kinds of stubborn and stupid. He might be acting irrationally because he is hurt and angry. You know him.

But there may well be a chance that he is trying to compel you to sell your share to him at loss to you. He then flips the place and makes a profit. He knows you are in a weak position.

Even if you are bluffing turn this around. Tell him you have options for raising the finance to buy him out now and fund the remaining work. Tell him you are also willing to cut all losses and apply to have the property sold and loss shared amongst you both. But tell him you still prefer to invest money to get it ready to sell asap.

Opentooffers · 06/05/2022 13:46

I'd move out yourself if I were you. Pay your 25% until you are mortgage free, that way he doesn't have any rights to rental payment as you are not living there.
Then get the house valued in its current condition- investors may well still buy it in current condition. Sell it, get your 25% of equity back (there will be some even if it is unfinished). He may well be incentivised to finish it sooner if its just laying empty because it is clearly money he is now after, given his plan to get it out of you - which is ludicrous.

itsmeagainlol · 06/05/2022 13:49

Yes, although it will be a faff for him to get it all sorted via a solicitor. As it's shortly to be paid of surely for him it makes sense to help pay towards finishing off the work and then selling the property? Can you buy him out with a mortgage for his share? Use your share for a deposit?

Re rental. It's not like a landlord/tenant situation so the building g site won't be the issue

Wnikat · 06/05/2022 13:53

Just move out yourself surely? He can stay in the heatingless house, as he owns more of it.

FridaFish · 07/05/2022 00:32

Thanks for all the replies and ideas... Much appreciated x

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