How well do you get on with your siblings ?

Whataloadofpolloks · 2022-05-05T20:06:07+00:00

Evening everyone. How well do you get on with your siblings ? Great ? Good ? OK ? Bad ? I don`t really get on with my sister she has always had things better than me.

trevthecat · 05/05/2022 21:12

I have 2 sisters. One 2 year younger, one 10 years younger. We are all really close. The one 2 years younger stayed at mine last night and we are all going out for tea tomorrow night. We all speak most days

ShadowPuppets · 05/05/2022 21:15

One sister, we’re very different people but she’s my best mate. We have lunch once a week when we can (her office is around the corner from my house, so we get together with a meal deal). Can’t imagine life without her and love her dearly. We have our own friends and lives but are really close.

Close as kids, but we didn’t really like or acknowledge each other between me turning 13 and her turning 18 though (which was about 7.5 years) mind 😁

Original poster

Whataloadofpolloks · 05/05/2022 21:25

If i never spoke to mine again i wouldn't be sad.

OP posts:

Rainbowdashpinkiepieapplejack · 05/05/2022 21:27

I have 3 brothers
i don’t speak to any of them and if they died tomorrow I wouldn’t be bothered
we have a narc mother and an enabler father who used to treat me as the scapegoat so I walked away
i pity the younger brother as he’s now the scapegoat but the other two are just as narc as my mother

PineMartenPeanutbutter · 05/05/2022 21:28

I have a feeling we’ve seen the OP before…

GeidiPrimes · 05/05/2022 21:28

Complicated. I have abusive parents, so the family dynamic was toxic. Eldest sibling and I are beginning to forge a non-toxic relationship, but I have to be careful not to let them dominate me.

It's hard to have a relationship with other sibling as they're in active alcoholism, which has made them very angry and resentful. I'm worried about them at the minute, they appear to be losing capacity and seem surrounded by human vultures. What can I do?

Weirdly OP, your last sentence reads like something my sib would say about me

Stokey · 05/05/2022 21:30

Good but we don't see each other a lot. We live in the same city but on opposite sides and catch up a few times a year. Have been on holiday together with respective families a few times but wouldn't do it regularly. But we could count on each other if we needed to. I think our relationship with each other is separate from the way our parents have treated us, but we were probably each favoured by one of them so it balanced out.

Do you think your relationship with you sister is affecting you now @Whataloadofpolloks ?

gemloving · 05/05/2022 21:32

Absolutely love my brother. He adores his nephews, is there for me when I need him.

I wouldn't want to ever imagine a life without him.

Lollypop701 · 05/05/2022 21:33

Depends, if I’m compliant then it’s all fine. I’m menopausal so it’s not going well right now 😂

HappyGoDucky · 05/05/2022 21:34

I love and like both my brother and sister. Great relationship, we live within 30 mins of each other. See my sis more than my bro but that's to do with work schedules. I'd be devastated to lose our relationship, it won't happen, blood and all that, love em to bits!

Original poster

Whataloadofpolloks · 05/05/2022 21:36

Stokey · 05/05/2022 21:30

Good but we don't see each other a lot. We live in the same city but on opposite sides and catch up a few times a year. Have been on holiday together with respective families a few times but wouldn't do it regularly. But we could count on each other if we needed to. I think our relationship with each other is separate from the way our parents have treated us, but we were probably each favoured by one of them so it balanced out.

Do you think your relationship with you sister is affecting you now @Whataloadofpolloks ?

It does yes.

I am a failure compared to her. She always had things better when we were growing up

OP posts:

Skinterior · 05/05/2022 21:40

@Whataloadofpolloks - why do you think she had life better than you and do you think she'd like to have a better relationship with you?

Or you her?

I have a very complicated tricky relationship with my sister. I'm sure she thinks I had life 'better' than her. But I don't know if that's why we don't get on, or if it was just that we've never got over our massively toxic childhood.

PumpkinsandKittens · 05/05/2022 21:47

I don’t, haven’t spoken to my sister in 2 years

Wailywailywaily · 05/05/2022 21:47

Great, I have a lot of siblings and I am the oldest. We don’t live near each other but we holiday together, our kids all get on like best friends and we generally just get each other.
it’s a shame that you feel your sister had a better time than you growing up, do you feel that this is her doing or your parents?

Lurkerlot · 05/05/2022 21:53

Great. 2 brothers, I’m middle child. Live on neighbouring street as younger one, see him and his husband almost every other day, regular Sunday dinners, much socialising together, Christmas and annual holidays. Older brother, speak (check in - don’t necessary chat much though) maybe 3 times a week, including during work time, see him (he has two DCs so more commitments) maybe once a month, also occasional holiday, and at least one annual seasonal get together a year.

We were close growing up, but also, when our mum passed away, I had been by myself for some while. One of the last things she ‘instructed’ us to do was to stick together, and look after each other. My mum died through complications caused by medical negligence, it devastated our dad, and we fought tooth and nail to get to the truth. Less than 7 months after mums death, dad was diagnosed with a rare inoperable cancer, and we lost him just over a year after mum. He made us promise to get to the truth behind mums death. I think this experience is what brought even us closer together.

BettyOBarley · 05/05/2022 22:00

I haven't seen my sister since I was 14 after family problems. I'm 42 now. It makes me feel sad sometimes, but we're total strangers now.

lking679 · 05/05/2022 22:02

Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing yourself to her. Maybe her having it better is a matter of opinion?
concentrate on the gratitude and happiness in your own life.
I have two brothers and two sisters, we get on all okay but much close to one brother and one sister. My older sister who I am not as close to has a very well paid job, she’s just bought a second home for £1 million and tells me it’s mostly equity. I just got a remortgage sorted before the rate rise and saved myself £64 a month!! Very happy about that!
I don’t compare myself to her, we’re very different people and what would it do but make me miserable? She’s quite hard to be around so mainly we are together in the family group otherwise I don’t see her very much. Works for me.

Overthewine · 05/05/2022 23:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

layladomino · 06/05/2022 20:14

Stop comparing your lives. It's futile and you don't have all the facts so your comparisons won't even be accurate. And even if she did have it better, is that her fault? If your parents treated you differently, that is on your parents not your sister. Plus, presumably that is now in the past, and your lives are in your own hands now.

However, if your sister isn't a good person, if she treats you badly then that's another matter and it's OK to keep a distance from her. There is no obligation to be close to your siblings, or to see them regularly. Of siblings I know who get on, many only see each other infrequently. They might get on when they see each other a couple of times a year but between times they have their own lives that involve other people.

If you are still angry or upset about life being unfair when you were children, it might help to seek some therapy to work through that, as you can't change history but you can reframe how you think about it.

guffaux · 06/05/2022 20:35

im a complete introvert- brothers are extroverts, as are their wives- love each other dearly but do not want to meet up with them often, they both meet and communicate frequently- all good as far as im concerned

Workinghardeveryday · 06/05/2022 20:46

brother lives 40 minutes away drive.

never see each other or keep in touch. Rarely we are in touch.

just totally different people

MolliciousIntent · 06/05/2022 20:48

My sister is my best friend, we fought like cats and dogs as kids and I always felt my parents loved her more (they didn't, and don't, I was just a difficult teen) but as adults, we are so incredibly close.

TheCanyon · 06/05/2022 20:49

Little brothers 3 years younger than me, one of my best friends, I'd die for him. We live quite far apart so unfortunately don't see each other too often but our dc are great friends too. Big brothers 17 months older, I like him, he's my brother, we've taken very different paths in life but I'd still fight like feck for him and we get on great when we see each other every 3-5 years or so.

Both boys have done really well for themselves, I've coasted and aimed low, my priority being my dc. Big db can sometimes piss me off at christmas as he doesn't understand skint nowadays. But that's fine, I just have a bitch to see db 😁

Firelogbridge · 06/05/2022 20:50

2 brothers, 2 sisters. Get on with them all, never had an argument with any of them. One sister is like a best friend, we speak every day, socialise, dc love each each. Others we see about once a month and keep in contact via WhatsApp. The sister that I'm closest to we are very similar in personality, outlook on life, parenting etc.

AdriannaP · 06/05/2022 20:50

Ok-ish.

one younger brother, not much in common, he can be whinging a lot and is often very self centred. If we wouldn’t be siblings, we probably wouldn’t he friends.