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Original poster

can't agree where to live - need to split up?

12 replies

Kamill · 05/05/2022 20:19

My DP and I live and work in London. Currently hybrid home/ office. We both travel a bit around Europe, intensive periodically. Comfortable apartment living with a view and large terrace atm but my DP wants a house. We do not have children (no plans/ too late) nor money tbh. His kids are all grown up. I have mother who needs care so I like being nearby available. I do not understand his motivation at all as we really do not need a house, certainly not with current work arrangements and not in the future either. We just do not have the time for it. He seems to think we will have time at the weekends but for me weekends are to relax, go out (theatre, dinner) not be working in the garden. I'd rather travel around the world than spend my money on the house. There is no compromise and it is getting worse. Anyone has similar experience?

OP posts:
eatyourcrustspls · 05/05/2022 20:24

You want different things. You are both entitled to want what you want. Could you look for somewhere in the same area?

D0lphine · 05/05/2022 20:28

Is buying a home in London out of the question OP? I know they're so expensive...

DownTownAbbey2 · 05/05/2022 20:30

Does a house take that much more time than a flat?

HeddaGarbled · 05/05/2022 20:30

Why can’t you have a house and garden but still go out and travel? Lots of people do.

BlanketsBanned · 05/05/2022 20:31

Why does he want a house. Will he have grandchildren to stay in the future, does he want more space, not want to pay leasehold or maintenance charges, thinks its a better in investment.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2022 20:32

DownTownAbbey2 · 05/05/2022 20:30

Does a house take that much more time than a flat?

Yes.

NoSquirrels · 05/05/2022 20:37

Can’t you get a garden flat? What is missing from his life that he’s seeking by buying a house?

Just because you don’t think weekends are for spending in the garden doesn’t mean he agrees with how you want him to spend his time…

Suzi888 · 05/05/2022 20:37

Bungalow?
I don’t know how old you both are but a house is a pita as you get older. If you can’t do the garden yourself you either need to patio it or get a gardener. My mum suffers with arthritis and has a large house, she wishes she had a bungalow. I’d love one too! My friend who is ten years younger, always mocked me and sold up and bought a bungalow five years ago… not jealous at all!

Why does your DP want a house exactly? Does he want to potter in the garden at weekends and you want to travel? If so, that’s a bigger issue imo. That means you want different things entirely. Would your DP get any enjoyment from an allotment?

Aquamarine1029 · 05/05/2022 20:39

DownTownAbbey2 · 05/05/2022 20:30

Does a house take that much more time than a flat?

You must not own a house. Yes, a lot more time. And money.

DownTownAbbey2 · 05/05/2022 20:43

I have only had new builds (apart from a 30’s semi 25 years ago) and other than mowing the lawn they take up no time.

DownTownAbbey2 · 05/05/2022 20:43

OP is your DP older than you?

Overthewine · 05/05/2022 23:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

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