How do you cope when you're the only sane member of your family?

[SueBaroo]

I really and truly think I'm going to bed in a minute, so I won't read responses (if any) until tomorrow, but I need to ask.

My extended family (not Dh and children) is variously mad, manipulative, locked up and petulant, and I am the family mediator by default. I'd like to tell them to take a running jump, but then I wouldn't, because they're my family and they'd be even worse if I did that. But how on earth do you keep your own head on straight?

Not sure I am sane enough to answer. But. You just live with it? And sometimes you question whether it is them, or you, or both. Then you stop thinking. For a little while at least.

I hope you are ok.

You convince yourself you must be the milkman's child and grin and bear everything that comes your way.

And then pray they don't find a genetic link to madness.

I would also try and cut back on the mediating if you can. I find the listening but not offering comment the easiet stance to take iyswim.

Sympathies though. It's weird sometimes feeling like you are the only sane one in the madhouse.

Not sure, but I have moments of feeling just the same. I might not be totally sane, but compared to my family I am quite normal!

See as llittle of them as you can. Sometimes it's the only way not to be dragged into that mediator role.
Whatever they say just nod and smile. And keep your hapiness to yourself.

Mine are not that bad really. They are just seing the glass half empty ( well actually always in a panicky way )and I see it half full.

Personnaly I chose to live 10,000 miles away. Took me about 10 years to get over the guilt of "letting them down".
The way I see it now is live and let live.
They want to rejoice with me, fine.
They want moan, fine. But they definitely know I won't pull them out of the silly little miseries they bring upon themselves. They want it all to be doom and gloom, not my problem!

You might think I'm odd, eccentric - downright crazy even. But I'm fantastically normal compared to my family. I have put some distance between us - more sometimes than others. I'm sorry to have had to do that and I know it has caused some anguish.

I have done very little mediating.

Message withdrawn

Not see them.

I am Peace-Keep, mediator and counsellor in our family too...

I find a little distance hepful sometimes (not in terms of actual miles, more in terms of smiling and nodding and refusing to get drawn into stuff)

I also remind myself that although they are my family, I have more responsbility to my family unit and that helps.

Out of curiosity, just a quick poll, how many here are middle children?

I'm not, I am the first born

youngest by a deacade here....

Divorce them?

The thread of sanity is just over here. I used to think I was the only sane person in a madhouse or it was vice versa...v confusing!