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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Friends met without me

30 replies

whitebunnies · 05/05/2022 19:15

There was a disagreement in our friendship group last summer. A month ago I messaged everyone about going for a meal to get things back on track. One person said they were busy and we will all meet soon. I got a message last week to ask to go for a meal but it was too short notice as I had booked a hotel for bank holiday. I messaged one of our friends yesterday and he said they all met for a meal without me. Is it unreasonable of me to think they could have waited for us all to go? We all waited for the one guy to be able to come but the same was not returnee. It's like someone is still playing games not wanting everyone to be friends.

OP posts:

StaunchMomma · 05/05/2022 22:23

whitebunnies · 05/05/2022 20:12

@Dahliasandtea I don't know why but whenever someone arranges a group meet they send messages to individuals, it's like they have to have control and keep it all separate while we wait for the organiser to feedback. Other friendship groups I have we all have WhatsApp groups to arrange meet ups so we can all see when we are free etc.

Can you not just start the whatsapp group yourself?

BOOTS52 · 05/05/2022 22:56

Don't even be worrying about it as you were away and they probably had no plans and just wanted to meet up. Yes it does sound like one of them controls it all but just let it go over your head as not worth your energy worrying. Hope you had a nice time away.

blinder · 05/05/2022 23:03

I am guessing this is more about the disagreement in the group which is not resolved and now you, OP, have missed out on the resolution. You probably wanted to be part of that, and I don’t blame you.

I think that is a bit shitty of your friends, but likely to be insensitivity rather than malice.

Original poster

whitebunnies · 06/05/2022 11:05

Thanks @BOOTS52 and Blinder. I need to let go, I would have liked to have been part of the reunion putting it all behind us but I suppose that's why it occured in the first place as some of them feel they need to control everyone. I think I will focus more on my other friendships which are healthier.

OP posts:

BOOTS52 · 07/05/2022 16:25

whitebunnies...I know is horrible and there is always one controller and bet they are never left out but just try not to overthink it and meet up again with them if they organize and let it go over your head. Friendships seem to change as we get older and people become more selfish. Take care big hugs xx

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