What is too much?

[Holl90]

So my DH and I seem to have quite a good relationship, however, my mum made a comment the other day that he is always out! My best friend said similar too. He plays sport twice a week (this is when me and kids are in bed) yes he is definitely doing that as I have turned up to watch him a few times, he helps with bed time and then leaves. I read a book or what TV, have a long bath etc and quite enjoy the time to myself.

This month he is away for 2 weekends, a stag do and a wedding. I’m invited to the wedding but we can’t get sitters and I don’t really know them anyway. I’m happy for him to go and I am away with the girls for one night this month too, he does allow me the free time!

when I hear people say ‘they don’t do that sort of thing’…what sort of thing do they mean? Dancing? Having fun? Am I wrong? Should we be glued to each other? I don’t know what the right way is?

It sounds fine to me!

My partner and I see friends together and separately and have a hobby we do weekly together but we are also in bands that practice weekly and gig. Sometimes, we see each other's bands, sometimes we don't and see other friends instead. We have weekends away with our kids (none together) and weekends away together.

I find it really hard to meet up with female friends because they are all with partners and never seem to do much separately. I have a number of single male friends I meet up with because they have no other commitments. My partner knows all but one of them and is fine with it. I'm fine if he goes out with his friends.

I couldn't be joined at the hip to someone.

The 'right' way to do things in a relationship is the way that makes both partners happy. If opposing things make you happy, it's about finding a compromise that means nobody has to go without what they need.

There is no externally agreed upon 'right' way to do things. Who could have the authority to sign off on it?!

It sound fine to me. My ex NEVER did anything on his own on the weekends and I really think it had a negative impact on our relationship. He had no life outside of his DCs, didn't have any friends, never went anywhere except to the store. It would've been nice if he had a little bit of a social life.

But as long as you and your DH are okay with it don't worry about what others think. Some people like to be connected at the hip and others like to spend some time doing their own things.

Your way is the right way. I also enjoy my me- time when DH goes away for work.

Used to annoy me when kids were little. Now it works well. Love him but I love it when he's not home . He can do what he likes and he says same to me. Healthy