I’m feeling worn down and so pissed off.
My H of 16 years has always had to be right and things his way. He is quick tempered but not violent in any way .
we have three children all with ASD and other medical issues .
the last two year I have been feeling like this . I told him in November and he went mad saying it wasn’t just him it was me as well. Then he said he would leave and go to his family down south . That didn’t happen and he said he would make it work as he didn’t want to throw away everything we have . This “change “ lasted for about three weeks .
The last few month we’ve been getting building work done on the house so that’s added pressure but everything is my fault . He hates our dog if the dog barks it’s my fault apparently I have him this way .
If the kids have meltdowns or just normal girl dramas it’s my fault because I’m not stern enough with them .
our children are home educated and if I miss a day work that’s my fault and he doesn’t want the kids missing on learning but doesn’t do anything about it .
I do all appointments, I do all shopping he never leaves the house ( he left work to help me with kids ) . He goes to bed every day for 2-3 hours .
Our oldest is 15 and he has never in all those years taken the kids out on his own for a day out … ever !
Things escalated last night when I said I’m going in the bath . He gutted and rolled his eyes and said well I was gonna go up to bed (8.30pm!) he had been working in the garden all day and said he was tired .
I lost it , I told him yes you’ve been in the garden working but I’ve had the kids all day and every day you come up with an excuse to go to bed . I said we have three children you cannot just go to bed every day .
his response was yes we have three kids but I’m just sat on the couch . The two teens are in their room and our son 17 month old is getting tired anyway so what’s the point .
he went to bed then I got my son to sleep . H woke up at 10.30 and I was going to bed so we never spoke . He got up this morning at 10am I had been up since 7 with DS and taken our DD to collage . She goes three days a week .
he stormed down the stairs shouting at me because the dog barked at the parcel man.
I told him who does he think he is shouting at ? He said I’m not shouting and you need to get rid of that chip on your shoulders . I’m so annoyed .
I haven’t spoken to him all day and now he’s trying to be nice . He’s gone out to do work in the garden now .
I feel so under valued , he never buys me birthday or Christmas presents my mother buys them for the kids to give me . We have had sex like 3 times in the last year he sleeps in a single bed now since our son was born . He says it’s so I can get some sleep if baby ends up in bed with me .
he knows I don’t like it but still went and bought a new single bed .
we never go out or have any time on our own and he speaks to me like shit . Even our 15yr old daughter keeps telling me she is sick of him dismissing her opinions or telling her to shut up . She also hates the way he blames me for everything but she is petrified of us breaking up as she doesn’t handle change very well at all .
there is 15 year difference between me and H and I’m now noticing it being a problem but to him everything is fine and we are a “Strong Couple “ this is what he has told his family . The same family that have told me I should leave him .
I don’t know what I can do the kids will have a hard time with change and I don’t think he will leave as we have no money and he has no family around here . And I am not moving our children out of there home .
Sorry this is long , there is much much more but I’d be typing all day 🤦♀️