How many close friends do you have and how often do you stay in contact?

[Mam576]

How many close friends do you all have? And how often do you see or speak to them?

I have a few (5/6 I'd count as close), and I catch up with them at least weekly by text, and probably monthly or every couple of months for a coffee/dinner/visit.

Probably 4 or 5 friends - close enough to share difficult personal stuff that's going on. Text message once a week or so. Meet up with one friend at least once a month, the others it's more like every 3 months. It doesn't feel like enough tbh

About 4/5. Our group chat lights up once a day-ish, or whenever someone has something to say and we meet up once a week in person.
I see my best friend every day because we go to the gym together. I have lots of other friends too but see them less frequently, between monthly and yearly.

I have one best friend. We've been best friends since we were 8 years old and we're 39 now. I consider her my sister.

Then I have around 10 friends who I'd trust with my life. Most of them I've been friends with for anywhere between 10 and 20 years.

Then there's around another 10 people I consider friends, I enjoy speaking to and spending time with but wouldn't necessarily expect them to still be in my life within the next 5 years - we're passing through each others lives and that's nice too

I appreciate I am very lucky where friends are concerned.

I'm in my 50s and have a sister who is my best friend plus 4 close female friends in the U.K. and one overseas. The U.K. ones I see at least every month.

Currently I have 5 / 6 very close long term friends who know my inside leg measurement and come from different stages of my life - primary school, 6th form, Uni, work, neighbours / school mums etc

I have had other deep friendships which drifted after house, work moves etc.

I also have a large extended family and busy community/hobbies acquaintances type friends.

I have learnt to actively prioritise the 5 / 6 as otherwise family / acquaintances suck up my time.

I am in contact weekly via text and see one of the 5/6 every other week - so physically catch up 4-6 times a year if not local.

Feels “full” already - not taking on more acquaintances right now…..

Five close ones. One who lives in the same neighborhood I text or speak to several times a week, we can tell each other anything, sometimes we just call to share just a random thought!

The others it depends as we don't live as close to one another. We go through periods of talking/texting alot and then it goes quiet for a while. But ultimately, they're always there for me and vice versa.

And I don’t do phone calls - prioritise face to face - text for arranging and brief news / issues - but don’t want to become a virtual friend

I don't think I have any. I'm an introvert and don't really feel the urge to socialise, ever. I still have old school friends that I see on very rare nights out (once a year ish), and when I see them it's lovely! But I have no urge to see people at any other time. I realise I'm not a particularly normal case.

I'm also from a tiny family (no siblings, just one elderly parent now) so cultivating friends has always been important to me. Otherwise, I'd be on my own in the world except for DH and the DC!

How about you OP?

I’ve lost two friends recently to “mental health issues” - no explanation, no apology, just a total ghosting. From social media I can see they continue to live their lives so I guess it wasn’t them it was me!

Another very close friend is currently extremely ill.

So aside from them (and the “MH ghosters” obviously weren’t as good friends as I had thought they were) I’d say I have 4/5 very close old, far-flung female friends and maybe 10 who I see more regularly but am less close to, if that makes sense.

I have found as I have got older (50s) that I am less keen on groups of friends and prefer spending time one to one. I wouldn’t intentionally mix my 5-6 friends - obviously they have met at celebrations etc over the years - but I am not sure I would bring them all away on holiday together - don’t know what that says about me or the friendships?

I have 3 friends that I would consider close enough that I could rely for their 100% support if I needed it. One I see weekly, the other two probably once a month or so on average. We text regularly but not daily. We are not a friendship group - they are all 1:1 friends with me and only know each other as acquaintances through social events like my birthday etc. Other than that I have my book club ladies who I love but don't meet outside of book club. That's it and I wouldn't want any more to be honest. Luckily we are all low maintenance and don't mind in the slightest if we don't meet up for a month or two. When we do meet up we pick up where we left off.

One who is close like a sister - speak on the phone every two weeks or so (live 2 hrs apart). I would say she is my one true friend now.
I've lived in several places quite far apart across the UK so friends are spread far and wide so once close friends definitely aren't now.
Unfortunately, a lot of my local friends have moved away in the last 5 years (two emigrating to AUS) and I no longer do the activities where I am likely to meet new people so easily I feel a bit lacking in local friends...got a one that I see regularly but although we may appear close, I don't really trust them and don't consider them close (wouldn't tell them personal stuff).
Got a great bunch of colleagues and I enjoy their company - one I would consider a friend. Lot of local acquaintances who I enjoy chatting to if I see them out and about.
I miss having a group of friends to do stuff with like the theatre etc.

I have 3-4 best friends and about 8 other really close friends. I can go for weeks or even months without chatting or meeting up...time flies but we they are all fabulous people .Could pick the phone up now and chat for hours to all of them

Also they don't really know each other which is great !!

None really.

I have a group of schoolfriends I've known for 40 years but contact has dropped off massively in the last 5-10 years. I saw them at the start of the year but prior to that hadn't seen or heard from them since pre Covid. I saw one of them again 2 days later but I've not heard from any of them in the last 4 months, and probably won't unless I contact them first.

A very good friend who moved 300 miles away, we exchanged a few messages last month but prior to that I'd not heard from her since late 2020. We have loose plans to meet when she's next in the area, but that might be next month or next year.

A group of ex work colleagues who I used to meet up with yearly, but haven't seen since 2019. We don't really keep in touch in between other than the odd comment on Facebook.

Local school mum friends (our children have long since left school but we keep loosely in touch) who I went out with in March, We tend to have nights out every 6-12 months, again we don't keep in touch.

I've always had lots of acquaintances but almost no real friends. My exDP was my best friend, until we split up yesterday.

I have two close friends and one friend is not a close friend but is more than an acquaintance. Out of my two close friends, I talk to one about 5 days a week, she lives about 500 miles from me, we meet up about once/twice a year but I've known her for over 20 years. My other close friend we never talk, but will text maybe about once a week and we used to meet up once a week for dinner/movie but since covid I've only seen her a handful of times and we still dont talk on the phone.

My other not as close friend I talk to him five days a week, we used to work together but we both moved to different companies and I haven't seen him since which was 3 years ago.

Absolutely none. Find it hard to make friends and even harder to keep them

I don't have any close frirnds. I get on with people ok but I'm flaky when it comes to keeping up the friendships. I'm also an introvert and prefer my own company 80% if the time.

Got a group of school friends I see probably once a year and a regular group chat with. A few mum friends I see occasionally on a play date. That’s it really! I’ve always been really jealous of people with one true best friend they can totally trust and rely on. I don’t have that.

I'm an introvert, rather quiet and shy, so don't make friends easily. I've got 3 friends. One I've known for 20-odd years. I meet up with her for lunch every 3 weeks or so. Another who I've known for about 15 years, I last saw her a month ago. The 3rd lives on the next street and I go for lunch with her once a week.

A few close friends I'd discuss most things with, but I find it goes in waves how often we speak to or see each other, depending what's going on. One close friend recently opened her own business and has been manic so apart from offering support and cheering her on we've not really spent much quality time together, but we will again in time.

Another friend lives away and we don't speak very often, just exchange the odd funny meme or Instagram reel, but whenever we're together in person we revert straight back to being as thick as thieves and there's nothing we wouldn't share.

Another I work with so we speak all day every day but not about anything especially deep and meaningful.

Variety is the spice of life

None. I've had what I thought were close friends at different points in my life and they turned out to be only fair-weather friends who wanted someone to go out clubbing with, until they found a man and then I wouldn't hear from them any more. I feel quite sad about being used, but not from the loss of them as they weren't worth it. It's really difficult to make close friendships once you're past your thirties. Lots of people seem to retain friendships from their childhoods, whereas I had a horrible childhood and the friends I had from school or university were people I met when I was naïve and vulnerable, and thus not the best choices for friends, or just not people I want to be nostalgic with, because my former life was shit. I've also had lots of male friends over the years - or so I thought! They turned out to either be trying to get in my pants, or loyal to my boyfriend of the time rather than me, and so I'd lose touch with them once we split up. I know this is a terribly self-pitying post, but it's true! I'd love to form some solid close friendships now my life's in a better place, but it's hard to know where to start.

1 close-ish friend I've known since uni. We have WhatsApp convos once every couple of weeks and meet up every 2 or 3 months.