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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does it really get better?

3 replies

PumpkinsandKittens · 03/05/2022 13:01

I broke up with my ex a few years back, we have children but he has chosen not to see them or stay in contact, I am really regretting the decision to break up with him as life is really tough on my own (I have no family help) and I feel like I’m just about getting by day to day, no break, no time to myself, my children are hard work and not getting any easier, I feel like I’m not a good mum as I’m constantly frazzled, exhausted and stressed, everyone says being a single mum gets easier but I haven’t found this to be the case, I don’t get the weekends to myself like other single mums do it’s just day in day out the same thing, relentless. But what I resent most is not being able to move on with my life or meet anyone new (no chance of that when you are with your kids 24/7) I feel like I’m stuck in a time warp like I haven’t moved on with my life.. I know meeting someone new isn’t the be all but I do miss having someone that cares about me, someone to chat to, someone to share problems with etc, then there is the loneliest of it all. Has anyone found leaving doesn’t actually get better? Been on my own for a good number of years now so it’s not like it’s a new thing but I’m still waiting for when it actually does get better?

OP posts:
HeDidWhattt · 03/05/2022 13:05

It’s hard when the other parent doesn’t see the kids, when you split its with the idea that they will, so you get free time too and get to do things to improve your life.
Why doesn’t he see them? Does he just have no interest? Go for child maintenance…he can not pay that by having them 50/50.

PumpkinsandKittens · 03/05/2022 13:09

HeDidWhattt · 03/05/2022 13:05

It’s hard when the other parent doesn’t see the kids, when you split its with the idea that they will, so you get free time too and get to do things to improve your life.
Why doesn’t he see them? Does he just have no interest? Go for child maintenance…he can not pay that by having them 50/50.

He just doesn’t want to and he doesn’t pay maintenance as he doesn’t work.

OP posts:
anotherdisaster · 03/05/2022 13:44

I'm so sorry you're struggling. Not having a break from the kids must be physically and emotionally exhausting. Remember you are NOT a bad mother, you are doing your best on your own with no physical or financial help. Do you know any other parents at their school? Don't be afraid to ask for help, even if you don't know people that well. If another mum reached out to me and asked me to help I would. I'm also a single mum and have been for 4 years. I'm lucky that my ex has them every other weekend so I do get a break. But, I never regretted leaving him. I'm sure your life with him would have been even harder, it just seems like it might be easier right now.

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