Backhanded compliment

[Islesands]

I sent a photo to the man I have been seeing of me running yesterday as we were apart for the bank holiday. He replied 'Looking sexy btw' followed by
'Even sober' with the laughing emoji
I texted back 'Rude' and said I would drink the wine I had brought him.

He replied 'That was a compliment. Ok not a very good one I admit."
How would feel about this? Sorry there is not much context and there was a further exchange where he said he would make it up to me by making me sweat when he saw me.. (read sex) as I texted back and said his compliment was completely rubbish and I was sweating enough for both of us running.
He last text last night ' Night honey and sorry if I have pissed you off' flushed face emoji.
I have not replied to it and still working it out what I feel. We are older and been seeing each other for around 5/6 months and both of us have been round the block. He can be reticent and open in equal measure but there are many things I like about him but decided to go with the flow with him when I started to see him and not be needy and analyse things but failing today.

I think he was trying to be funny and you took the hump. I read it that he was sober, not saying that you are usually drunk. He fancies you even without beer goggles was my interpretation of the message.

I wouldn't have interpreted his comment the way that you did, but perhaps I'm missing something? Also he understood that you were upset and apologised. Is that ok? Could your unease be relating to omething bigger and attaching itsef to this exchange?

I dunno, have you made jokes together about only seeing each other when drinking/how people always say nice things when drunk?
That would give it context. Slightly weird on its own but I can't see myself getting too hung up on it. The sweaty sex thing would be more off-putting TBH.

Well done for looking good when you run BTW - I look absolutely horrific in every single picture.

I don't think he was having a dig, I'd say it was a clumsy attempt at humour. If he's otherwise satisfactory I wouldn't worry about this at all.

I genuinely don't understand what you're offended by? Did he mean you look hot when you're sober (not offensive in the least as most people look hotter sober. Unless you think he's implying you drink too much?) or that you look hot depite him being sober?

Yes thank you and I think it was his attempt at clumsy humour and that he fancied me without alcohol.

@dudsville I suppose my discontent is that he does not give me compliments really ever. And I will ask him when I see him in a non accusatory manner and tone. I am fairly confident and I don't need them but they are nice once in a while, and gives an indication of something as he is fairly hard to read.
I certainly have complimented him. (he said i was beautiful once when we were having sex so that does not count! ) and I suppose that leads on to how he feels about me/us and how things are progressing etc and you know the future..blah.

Any ideas how to respond to his text last night in a breezy way just to show him I am not pissed off ? He would laugh at this thread and me asking strangers how to respond to him last text....all nice helpful strangers

I suppose my discontent is that he does not give me compliments really ever.

It seems like this is because he knows he's clumsy at giving compliments! (I'm also clumsy at giving compliments. So is DP so that's somewhere we're very compatible.)

I don't think it's a big enough deal that you have to smooth it over but maybe something like "got the wrong end of the stick, I know you were complimenting me and it was appreciated" would work. I think if you want to talk about the bigger picture of wanting to hear more compliments that should be a face-to-face conversation.

Just text him this morning as though nothing happened. I wouldn't bring it up as it makes it into a bigger issue than it is.
Theres no point in telling someone you'd like more compliments either imo. If you've had to prompt them it wouldn't feel genuine. Some people are not big on this, but he sounds like he does pay them when moved to do so. He thinks you're hot and beautiful. That's not too bad surely?

Any ideas how to respond to his text last night in a breezy way just to show him I am not pissed off ?

Yes. Don't mention it again. You dealt with it at the time. It was a clumsy attempt at humour. You identified you thought it was rude rather than funny, and he apologised.
If you further respond to it now, it shows that you are kissed off and not breezy about it.

It was a clumsy compliment, nothing more.

The sweaty sex thing would give me the ick. But that's because my ex could turn anything into something sexual which was tiresome and a turnoff. But taking those feelings out of it I don't think he means any harm, I would just keep an eye out if he starts become like my ex and turn everything sexual because those types turn out to be sex pests.

I took it to mean that he thinks you look sexy even when he's sober, ie: he doesn't need the beer goggles on.

I must admit I didn’t totally understand the exchange, so assumed you’d joked before about being a bit drunk or whatever? In which case, it’s just a jokey text. He’s poking a bit of affectionate fun at you. I think that’s quite nice, actually - he’s relaxed with you. And it sounds like he’s sensitive enough to apologise if he thinks he’s upset you, so all good.