Recently split up... sad and lonely

[loupielou1]

Hi all. I've recently split up with my fiancé of 4years and I am feeling so sad, alone. I'm not eating great as I feel sick, haven't slept much. I just keep wanted to cry. My now ex fiancé cheated on me by messaging young women... he did this a year ago and I forgave him and gave him another chance but as he's been so distant with me recently, I looked at his phone and found messages and pictures saved of young women again. I told him to leave and that I never wanted to see him again. We was due to get married at the end of the year and we was planning on having a baby. I also found a message of a baby which he claimed was his in the message but when I asked him he said he thought it was but it turned out it wasn't... I just couldn't make any sense of this. I don't know really what I want from posting this. I just want to vent I guess and ask for any advice on stop feeling the way I do. I keep thinking of the good times and I'm missing him but I know I shouldn't let him back again but it's hard as I feel so alone

Hi OP. So sorry your going through this, i am too. I caught My dh messaging a 20 somthing from work, its deversted me, i forgave him and moved on, big mistake! I found out last werk hes been at it again with a woman from work and this time they have been fucking! It's horrific, I'm in so much pain. The only thing getting me through is my friends and familly. I totaly get why your uoset about the baby, you had plans! We were ttc and the bastards took that away from me!!! I think im stuggling with that more than anything he's taken my future away from me.

You’ve dodged a massive bullet - this man is no good.

I think that you are probably feeling lonely because you were used to him being there. Sometimes relationships just become a habit so now you are feeling lonely because he’s not there.

let time do its work and you will find someone better.

It does get better x

@whymewhyme
I found out he was also on a dirty website for older men to hook up with younger men. The girl I found on his phone told me aswell as others. They were 18! He offered them money to meet him. We were having a rocky patch and he's blaming it on that and his mental health. I just feel sick, I'm not eating properly or sleeping. I've been prescribed ADs as I am just not coping at all. I just want to know why and for him to admit to it. He's offered to talk but I just don't know

I meant to say younger women. Not men

How are you getting on?

@whymewhyme I'm slowly getting there as trying to keep busy but it does hit me most nights when I'm in bed on my own. I just get emotional and lonely and then crave him even though I shouldn't. I just want to be able to stop loving him and thinking what ifs but it's hard. I feel sick from the heartbreak. What about you? How are you getting on? Xx

He’s disgusting! OP, what you are going through is normal - it’s going to hurt for some time yet. Accept that but also find ways of keeping yourself distracted and busy. Do kind things for yourself and surround yourself with people who love you. I would start taking the anti depressants as these take time to work and once you are feeling stronger, you can come off. Please take care and treat yourself every day. Believe me, you’ve had a lucky escape! Plenty of men are like this - at least you’ve managed to get away. Give it some time and you will look back and thank your lucky stars!

I've started taking the ADs but it makes me feel wobbly and clumsy like I'm drunk. Oh and sweating and feeling sick. Then by the afternoon I feel so spaced out and my body feels heavy and im unmotivated to do anything and I would just like to sleep it off. By the night it wears off and I sleep better. I'm not sure if I like this feeling on ADs. I feel like I was more motivated when I wasn't on them as I had adrenaline to just get on if you know what I mean,... now I either care too much or don't care at all