Buying presents for family members

[D0lphine]

I have recently moved in with my partner. He asked me today if I wanted to go halves on getting his uncles birthday present.

I said to him if that meant he was going to go halves on all my families presents too! I said maybe this wouldn't be fair because we would have different size of families and would spend different amounts. I suggested maybe we should keep them separate for now.

For context I have met said uncle a grand total of 2 times!

I would never think to ask him for a contribution to my brothers birthday which is coming up this month!

So do we think I'm being tight or is this setting a good boundary? What do you all do?

We buy for our own families.
We have been together 15years.
He should buy gift for uncle and add your name though just as you will buy for db and add his name too.

Yes that's exactly what I was going to do - think of a present, buy the present and card, write "from Dolphine and Mr Dolphine xx" in card and not ask for any money or input from him. I'd expect him to do the same for his uncle.

But then I felt a bit tight when I said no.

Stick to buying for your own family, if your brothers birthday had come first would your partner have offered to pay half? I doubt it, don't get sucked in or soon he'll expect you to pick out, pay for, wrap and deliver his family gifts while he takes credit.

Yes this is what I was thinking. That's his responsibility! Not giving myself extra work.

No I would never have expected him to pay 1/2 my brothers gift!! Why would I? He doesn't know him!

You moved in with him 2 months ago and met his uncle twice? He sounds like a tight wad to even ask! What is he planning on buying this older bloke that he couldn't afford by himself? A trip to Vegas?
I think this could only be the start of his penny pinching ways unfortunately..

said to him if that meant he was going to go halves on all my families presents too!

what did he reply?!

Lol just stick to buying your own family.

Out of interest, what did he buy his uncle last year? When he wasn't with you?

Once you start paying halves
a) it’s hard to stop once you’ve started doing this.
b) he’ll ask you not only for gift ideas for his family, you’ll also have to buy (and wrap and post) them as he’s too busy, you pass the retail park on your way home from work etc., shopping is womens’ work etc…and he will expect you to pay upfront and be difficult about paying you back
c) if they don’t like the b) gift you have all the hard work of exchanging them and listening to his rellies moan about your poor gifting efforts (when he has done sod all).
d) if they do like the b) gift and boast about it then other relatives will want one too!
e) you’ll have to put alerts on your phone for his relatives birthdays

Thanks all! Think I made the right choice to say no and actually starting to think maybe it was a bit shit of him to ask!

Something sport related. His uncle isn't that much older than we are for context. Fine with him buying something. Not ok with me paying.

He said "oh" like he hadn't even considered it.

No that’s just weird. DH buys his family presents and I buy mine. We might ask each other for suggestions but that’s about it.

Be careful it’s not one step to you actually being expected to buy the presents!