My (ex?) fiancée lives with PTSD. He's had treatment and manages his anxiety and triggers very well. Our relationship has always been great - blissful even.
TLDR; he experienced a huge trauma, changed, obsessed with his health, then obsessed with me lying and cheating on him, it got unbearable, I asked him to stay elsewhere, he's convinced himself and his family that I was abusive and called off the wedding.
A few months ago he had a hugely traumatic incident and was signed off work.
He completely changed. He became obsessed with his health and believed he was dying, after several hospital stays and every test under the sun, he was given the all clear. This then transferred onto me. It was constant. He wouldn't believe I had just popped to the shop because I had taken too long, would forget I'd told him I had an appointment so accuse me of hiding something, etc. He would ignore me for days then accuse me of being emotionally abusive and ignoring him. He'd forget he'd plan to do something then accuse me of making it up to mess with his head when I asked how it went. I smiled when a friend sent me a meme and he accused me of having an affair.
Every week or so he would break down crying, apologising, talk about what was going on in his mind, how scared he is and how devastated he is for treating me badly. He would make plans to ring for MH support the next day.. then wake up in the morning like none of it happened.
Two weeks ago, he told me in the morning that he was leaving in a few days. He said he couldn't cope with my family, friends and I hating him and treating him badly. I asked him what we'd done, he said he didn't know but he feels it so it's true. I went on my lunchbreak a little late to find several missed calls, I phoned back and he accused me of sleeping with colleagues and 'didn't want to hear my crap about going on break late'. I told him he was being controlling and asked him if he could maybe stay with family for a bit.
I came home from work to find he'd packed everything he owns from our home, on the phone to his family telling them he'd finally realised I'd been abusive our whole relationship. He left without saying a word to me.
He and his family have since all blocked me, he's told our respective children that they're never going to see either of us again, I've had notifications from all companies that our wedding late this year has been cancelled.
I can't process it. In four years he has never remotely been like this before. I can understand that he's been through an unimaginable trauma, then being at home 24/7 while I work.. but I haven't done anything other than love him and try to support him. I'm beside myself worrying about him. My brain is constantly trying to work out if its mental health or he's emotionally abusive, or both, or am I actually abusive? Is this behaviour OK if it's caused by MH? Can't process it.