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Original poster

Hes liking/commenting on other womens pictures

30 replies

Alicew00 · 01/05/2022 15:49

I've just seen that my boyfriend has liked another woman's photo and put a comment on it. I won't say what nothing explicit just letting her know he likes her.
He said he wouldn't like other girls pictures anymore but he's added some women on his friends (fb) and liked their picture which shows them in a tight dress. It's making me feel ugly and unwanted by him. I try to dress sexy but we don't go anywhere that I can dress up nice for.
What should I do?

OP posts:
curlytoday · 01/05/2022 16:00

He said he wouldn't like other girls pictures anymore
What's the back story?

Original poster
Alicew00 · 01/05/2022 16:14

What do you mean? He hasn't shown any signs of this before we've been together and been happy so far. He did say to my sister that he can look at other women because its me I'm coming home to.

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 01/05/2022 16:18

This all sounds a bit dramatic.

So he liked another woman’s picture. And? Presumably he’s not coming on to her sexually or telling her he wants her?

And given he knows these women what’s the big deal?

YouAreNotBatman · 01/05/2022 16:19

”can look at other women because its me I'm coming home to”

Ewww, I’ve always hated this excuse.

I’d say flip it, that’s what I do.
He maybe coming home to you, but do you want that?
It’s a good idea to think what exactly IS COMING HOME to you.
And do you want that in your home.
That is the only thing you have control over, he is who he is and told you he doesn’t care.

Fizzyfish · 01/05/2022 16:22

I find this sort of thing creepy tbh

Original poster
Alicew00 · 01/05/2022 16:24

AlternativePerspective · 01/05/2022 16:18

This all sounds a bit dramatic.

So he liked another woman’s picture. And? Presumably he’s not coming on to her sexually or telling her he wants her?

And given he knows these women what’s the big deal?

He doesn't know these women

OP posts:
HolyMoly22 · 01/05/2022 16:25

Not phased by this with my partner tbh.
I like other men's pictures that I know, we know etc.
It's not a big deal unless his comments suggest otherwise.

HolyMoly22 · 01/05/2022 16:25

He doesn't know these women

Well this is a massive part of the story missing.
This is different, from your op I assumed people you knew.

What are his comments

PurpleDinosaurpark · 01/05/2022 16:28

What age are you?. I'm assuming around 15ish?. Dump him & concentrate on your exams & have a great summer would be my advice to my kids of a similar age

seensome · 01/05/2022 16:29

So many women put up with this crap, tbh it's hard to find men that don't do it, but it's not right.

If he's got the eye for other women, that's who he is, nothing you can do about it. You'd think they'd look discreetly rather than having to like pics! It's like they forget they are not invisible on SM.

roadyt · 01/05/2022 16:36

Just start doing the same thing back & then get rid.

Rinatinabina · 01/05/2022 16:39

It’s creepy and weird. Just get rid.

hoomaey · 01/05/2022 16:42

Urg there is a guy on my Facebook who has a partner and 2 kids and I see him constantly "liking" photos of women all tarted up and occasionally writes comments.
It is so disrespectful and I would be fuming.

I like someone else's idea of doing the same thing and liking loads of Mens pictures and writing the odd comment. Please do it and then update us!!

lilmishap · 01/05/2022 16:43

I found out my ex had been cheating, a lot his only words on the subject were "I came home to you and the kids every night what are you complaining about"

You don't reach out to strange women to let them know you find them attractive unless you're fishing in the hope of something else because most normal men would know that that is creepy behaviour.

Ask if you can see his phone and his Facebook messages won't be a problem if there isn't a problem.

I very much doubt that women on Mumsnet are posting comments on strange men's Facebook letting them know that they find them attractive.
So I don't know why there's a commenter claiming that its ok and not a problem.

lilmishap · 01/05/2022 16:45

HolyMoly22 · 01/05/2022 16:25

Not phased by this with my partner tbh.
I like other men's pictures that I know, we know etc.
It's not a big deal unless his comments suggest otherwise.

They are not mutual friends they are women he doesn't know.
He is searching Facebook looking for attractive women, that is how he has found them he hasn't stumbled across them by accident.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 01/05/2022 16:45

It's disrespectful. OP.

What you want to do about it is up to you.

HolyMoly22 · 01/05/2022 16:47

@lilmishap yeah I'm aware of that now, I said another comment after

MissMaple82 · 01/05/2022 16:52

In the context of the photos, clicking the like button is code talk for "you look hot and I'd fuck you". It's majorly disrespectful

Crikeyalmighty · 01/05/2022 16:53

Personally I would rather they were not'coming home to me' if they were busy commenting on random women's pictures.

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 01/05/2022 16:58

I agree with those who say it's disrespectful. Seeking out and commenting on pictures of random women isn't the behaviour of someone in a relationship. In fact it isn’t the behaviour of someone I would have any opinion of.

ImprobablePuffin · 01/05/2022 16:59

So are they random women who could live down the road or random women in the public eye? It's difficult to tell, is he 'friending' them or just following a public page and liking posts?

curlytoday · 01/05/2022 17:02

The way you said "he said he wouldn't like other girls pictures anymore" sounded like you've had this issue before and he agreed to change this behaviour.
Only you can decide who to spend your life with but the reasons why my dh would never do this is that he knows it would cost him his marriage because I would lose all respect for him and find it so disrespectful he'd know he wouldn't get away with it but if you let your dp get away with it you're allowing him to treat you that way and if he can he will.
If you don't like it let him know and set your own boundaries and if he won't respect that find someone who will.

BOOTS52 · 01/05/2022 17:02

He sounds very immature and really has he nothing better to be doing than searching for random women online. Start by searching for random attractive shirtless men, know sounds silly but see how he likes it. Make sure he sees you and say well you are coming home to him. The internet and how people use it has caused so many relationship issues that it is sad. Take up a new hobby for yourself that will help your confidence and try to focus on yourself more and building a better life for yourself. Do you have children?

lilmishap · 01/05/2022 17:13

OP if women 'like' his comments the next step is him sliding into their DMS.
I was genuinely horrified when I found out the amount of hookups that my ex got into with strangers on Facebook, he admitted that he would search FB photos? he would arrange it while he was sat next to me on the sofa.
Because neither of us were friends with these women I was completely oblivious to it. He cheerily told me that all young men do it.
He was pushing 40.

Malibu19880 · 01/05/2022 19:29

When this topic comes up people come along and say things like “it’s only online” “it’s only likes” “this is so childish” etc but unfortunately like lines between real life and online life have become increasingly blurred over the past decade. And this behaviour leads to cheating a lot of the time.

In my opinion, this behaviour is disrespectful. It’s the equivalent of you being out together and him going up to some random woman and telling her he likes her. If you wouldn’t put up with that then don’t put up with this behaviour.

You’re entitled to enforce whatever boundaries you want in your relationship regardless of what anyone else thinks. You can decide to either accept this behaviour if he is unwilling to see the problem in it, or find someone who will respect your boundaries.